Recap of "MY FIRST 5K" April 27, 2013

So I did it. I completed my first 5K.  I was  nervous and could hardly sleep the night before. And I had this bad dream that I was in a car accident on the way to the 5K and couldn't even do the 5K.  But I'm thankful that it was just a bad dream and it was just my silly nerves. 

I had spent the day before the 5K with my Abby at Pine Wood Camp in Muskegon for her class field trip . We hiked and walked and walked....we were there from 10am-7pm.  I was very tired and a little sore when we got home Friday night April 26th and I had to get ready for that 5K Saturday. And I almost wondered if I should have gone on the field trip with Abby but I am so glad I didn't miss is.  Abby has such a great class and a great group of friends.

Abby and Me- We knew we were going to have a great day together.

Kylie, Hannah and Abby- Aren't they so cute?!

I call these girlfriends "The Fabulous Five" Abby, Brianna, Philena, Hannah and Kylie

Saturday morning I was up at 6am. I had an egg and half a banana and a slice of toast with peanut butter for breakfast. I felt good, rested and ready.  I rode with Gina, Val Johnston and Abby Calverly to Shepherd Maple Syrup Festival.  We were all buzzing with excitement.  I had this goal in my mind that I had to do at least 45 minutes but maybe I could do the 5K in 40 minutes.  I was sure my adrenaline would kick in and I'd do it faster.
There were SO MANY PEOPLE there!!  Over 700 runners and walkers registered.  It was an amazing site.  People of all shapes and sizes, of all ages, young and old alike.  It was really a beautiful site. And I wish I would have had a camera to capture all the beautiful people. I love looking at people. The expressions and imaginging their story, the song of their life.  I was thinking about all these people and what brought them to this race.  That was probably one of the most exciting things for me about the race day!!

I met up with my team of workout buddies and we were all wearing our pink shirts:

My walking/jogging buddy Val, my sister Gina, me and Abby Calverly

This last picture was taken with my phone camera-Aren't they all beautiful girls?

Val was my running walking buddy.  We decided to do it together. I had it in my mind that I was going to go fast and that I'd probably run at some point without her. BOY WAS I WRONG.  We started out strong and fast and ran the first 10 minutes. We had decided to do 5 minute walk then run 5 minutes but I thought we should start out with at least 10 minutes and go as fast as we could.  At one point I felt like I could keep on running so I told Val "I'm going to keep going." So I left her behind.  I started to feel tired and noticed I was slowing but thought "Oh well, its not that bad."  Then all of a sudden I see Val beside me and passing me!  And I was like "Yep, my plan did not work!"  So I knew right then and there, this 5K wasn't going to be about speed. It was going to be about pacing myself and sticking with my buddy.  Val is such a great pace keeper.  And her personality is so like that. She is faithful, committed, solid, and steady. When I wanted to speed up she could keep me to a steady pace. And I needed it because I truly didn't train the way I should have for this 5K.  How could I expect to run a 5K if I hadn't had enough time to put into that training.  There were points during our 5 minute jogs that I felt like my legs were lead weights and Val would say "You got this. We've got this. Just a little more."  She was so encouraging. She even told me at the beginning of the race that she was going to be there all the way for me during this 5K.  But was I listening?  I was too busy being concerned about being fast and my time instead of what really mattered- finishing the race!!  Finishing this race confirmed me in that I am definitely motivated and inspired by support- and that support was Val. That being in this race was more about completing a challenge in my life with that friend beside me.

When we sprinted that last  stretch on the track field, I realized that I didn't do my best time but I FINISHED and I did what I set out to do.

My dear friend Mary Beth wrote this on my facebook page today:

Don't let fitness be stressful. You have an amazing accomplishment behind you! Congrats on the 5K - who cares about the time? It's something to beat if you do another ;) But don't over-do the exercise! I've done that before and had my body fall apart on me. Stick with what makes you happy and healthy and the weight will come off as you enjoy living your life :) Good job, to you! So excited for you!

So I confess that I didn't get the "runners high" that so many people talk about. When we were out there doing that 5K, it felt like any other day when I go out and exercise. It was just more exciting for me because there were other unique and beautiful people out there doing it along with me.

Am I going to do another 5K?  You bet I am.  Will I be the fastest?  Probably not.  Will I keep growing and stretching myself as I train for these 5Ks?  Totally!! And that is why I have to keep at it.  For my health, for my life, to keep striving for those goals and things in life that grow and stretch me and teach me more about myself every day.  And along the way I meet people who inspire me, and people that I inspire. And we live life together, honoring God and we all make this beautiful life song to God.

And here is one more picture from that day.

We went to my dad's church the night of the 5K for a ladies dinner. My girls are such a vital part of what I do and keep my eyes steadfast on living a legacy that they will be proud of and one day follow.

What's Your Egypt?

I don't know what it is- but I have been super emotional. And not just emotional- I might even say "depressed."  Every day I keep working out at least 40 minutes and some days even 80 minutes working out. I keep faithful keeping track of my food and calories.  And you'd think the weight would be falling off. Nope. People tell me I look "firmer" or that my face is thinner.  And you hear over and over "don't focus on the numbers on the scale".  But you know what?  When you are a big person, the numbers sorta matter.  Because they tell you whether what you are doing is working.  One positive thing going on for me is that I do know that I'm getting stronger and have more stamina. The fit tests we do with Insanity are such a good measure because each time I do it, I am doing more reps.  So I have that going for me at least.

Last night I went on a walk/jog with my sister Gina and Abby came along too.  Abby helped me push Jaelle in her stroller. Poor Jaelle had been so sick yesterday. She threw up in the morning and then had diarrhea all day.  I thought getting out in the fresh air and sun would do her some good. She was all relaxed and smiley in her stroller. She even sang a little.  Anyway, Gina took off running. She actually did her 3.1 miles in 35 minutes. It took me 45 minutes.  Abby could tell I was discouraged and said, "Don't worry mom. You burn just as many calories walking as you do running."  She is so sweet.  I know she could have run that with Gina but she chose to walk  and jog it with me. 

I was so discouraged last night. I even ate 1 cup of icecream. I told Becca to measure out a cup of icecream for me.  I know I did it because I was feeling  bummed, not because I really wanted to eat it.  Jaelle fell asleep by 9pm.  Abby and Becca put themselves to bed last night. I went down to kiss good night and pray with them but they were sleeping by 9:30pm too.  I had soaked in the tub for 15 minutes to help my sore muscles. I called Cornelius around 9:45pm.  He's gone for 2 weeks in Gaylord for work. I told Cornelius how discouraged I was. He told me to not compare myself. He told me I'm doing good and that he's proud of me. He told me to keep at it.  I started crying.....yep.  We said goodnight and I went to bed after I read a few chapters from "Made To Crave".

This morning, my dad sent me an email with this verse:

-          Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today.  The ‘Egyptians’ you see today you will never see again.  The Lord will fight for you;  you need only to be still.”  (Exodus 14:13-14)

I needed a verse to set me straight. I'm afraid I'm going to fail.  But I need to stand firm and faithful and see God deliver me. The Egypt in my life has been what people think of me and bondage to food- God will deliver me from what has held me in bondage just like he delivered the Israelites from slavery under the Egyptians. GOD WILL FIGHT FOR ME WHEN I FEEL LIKE I CAN'T FIGHT ANYMORE. I need to be still (not like a couch potato! but still in that I am trusting Him) and know that God is there and will be there always.

- "I look behind me and you're there, then up haed and you're there, too- your reassuring presence, coming and going. This is too much, too wonderful-I can't take it all in."

    Psalm 139:5-6 MSG

What is the Egpyt in your life?  Is it fear? Is it food or money?  What is holding your captive or in bondage? Did you know that God is in the business of delivering you from your struggle? He is totally capable of saving you from what holds you down or keeps you from living a fulfilled life.  God conquered death. He raised Lazarus from the dead. He was crucified and rose again. He walked on water. He fed thousands and healed the sick.  GOD CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS and He can move your mountain.

I think that today I am confessing that my Egypt is fear. Fear of failing. Fear of what people think of me.  I don't want to be controlled by fear or worrying about what people think of me. Its depressing.  And it keeps me focused on the wrong things.

Let God take that Egypt from you.  Let Him free you.  I truly don't want to be like the Israelites, in the wilderness because they wouldn't listen and trust Him. 

SO FREE ME JESUS!! I CONFESS MY FEAR AND WORRY OF WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF ME. Help me to not make an idol out of exercising or what I'm doing.  I keep my eyes focused on You who is the beginging and the end.  And you'll see me finish that finish line this Saturday when I complete my first 5k.  For your glory God, not mine. :)  In Jesus Name, Amen.

April Pics of Abby and Jaelle

So I decided it was time to post some pics that were taken this month of my kids.  Becca seems to avoid the camera. So no pics of Becca this month. Next time. But we did get these pics of Abby this month doing her science project.  Most the kids in her class did projects like colored milk, or moldy fruit, a few did a lava lamp.  Not Abby.  She chose something to do with the designs of bridges and made 2 designs to see which one was better. She used pounds and pressure of water to determine which design was stronger.  She sketched her bridges and then built them. Next it was time to test which bridge design was the best.  Her daddy helped by cutting little pieces of wood to build her bridges.  But then she did it herself.  I think she is super smart and I don't think - no, I know, that I would have not chosen to do this kind of project in 5th grade!! 

Abby believed that the bridge she is holding with the triangle design, would be stronger and withstand more water pressure or more pounds of water.  She was right of course. :)

Our baby sitter, Larita Helton, loves to take pictures and has a nice camera. She took these pictures of Jaelle last week when we had a nice sunny spring day.  Still cool outside but at least sunny.  My sister has a trampoline set up at my parents house and so my girls are enjoying it too. 

This is Jaelle's personality caught on camera- she is strong, silly, a tease and super out going. I love this picture. She's as happy as can be and I love her tenacity for life- well, sometimes :)

Isn't she just a doll?  I love her piggy tails. :)

Loving the trampoline.  I love her little hat- I got it for like $1 after christmas. I love sales :)

Miss wiggle worm.  She is seriously so hard to capture a picture of because she's always on the move!!

Sometimes I feel like I miss out on so much of my girls growing up.  Cornelius' job allows him to be home at 3pm so he can run them to practices, lessons or help with homework.  I get home around supper time and when we sit to eat together I sometimes get this pain in my heart that I'missing out on so much, or like I'm failing as a mom. Or that my work and other things come before my family.  Its been a battle in my mind and heart to wonder if I'm doing the right thing.  But then I realize, "You know what? My girls have a wonderful father and we are blessed with an awesome babysitter.  My sister and parents are just next door and love on my kids too.  They are surrounded by a loving family and community that cares for them.  They are strong, independent and learning so many things by my example." 

It's easier to think and say that then it is to believe it sometimes. And so here I type this from my office at work.  Thankful for such an amazing job with great pay and benefits and praying that I'm doing the right thing to work and let others help me raise my children.  God, you know my heart and know that all I do is to bless others. Bless my children and my family and all that I do.

"My Body:His Temple"

I wrote this to my Insanity Work Out Buddies today:

You (we) are training! I've been following some women/mom's who run 5ks and half marathons now. Recently she talked about how she hadn't run but a couple times before she signed up for the half marathon and then she ran it and did her best time ever! She was cross training- things like Insanity, working out at the gym etc. Besides Becky, this 5k is really about us doing this to show that "Our Bodies Are His Temple" - I wish we had t-shirts or tanks that said "My BODY: HIS TEMPLE" and a verse under it. Because it is "our Body" and we have free will to do with it as we choose- but in the end, are the choices honoring the fact that we are His temple for His Spirit. Do we crowd out His Spirit and His Presence with our agendas? I SO STRUGGLE WITH THAT daily. My mom told me to lay it down and to seek Him and not "seek the body/image". I should put this in my blog so I don't forget when I'm telling you all :) LOL!
Recently I/ve been reading/following two blogs- one that is a Christian (Dani Johnson- amazing coach/mom, woman of God) and the other is Brandi and she is FAMOUS on instragram and in the blogging world. I attached her site so you can read. I love her exercising tips and how RAW/REAL she is- and she's not Christian. Christians are the best at wearing masks aren't we? :(
http://www.mamalaughlin.com/

And I found another amazing Christian Blogger on a weight loss journey. I think I'm so going to like this one to read for not only tips but more so because of the Spiritual Tips she throws in too. She's full of God's fruit and we need to guard our hearts and minds to make sure we are filling it with truth and God's goodness.

http://livingachangedlife.blogspot.com/

²⁰ This is in keeping with my own eager desire and persistent expectation and hope, that I shall not disgrace myself nor be put to shame in anything; but that with the utmost freedom of speech and unfailing courage, now as always heretofore, Christ (the Messiah) will be magnified and get glory and praise in this body of mine and be boldly exalted in my person, whether through (by) life or through (by) death.

Phillipans 1:20 (AMP)

 

I think my belly is finally starting to show that it's shrinking.  After a month and a half of really working hard, it feels like I'm seeing more changes in my body which is encouraging.

I just had to sneek this pic in. (I took it at work in our bathroom.  Thank goodness no one walked in on me!!) :)

 

HEART ISSUES!!!- The Good and Bad!

Ok, this picture says it all.....I was WAY sick this past weekend.  I started my period on April 7th and so when I started with a stuffy nose, I thought "Well, I always get run down when I start my monthly."  So I didn't think anything of it and I figured it would go away after the week. So that did NOT happen.  I kept exercising and even got a little running in Friday morning.  The only day I didn't exercise this past week was Thursday night when I felt weak and just wanted to sleep.  I slept on my couch and figured I'd be good to go for the weekend. I was eating good, exercising and hopefully sweating out the sickness.  By Saturday when we were at our Leadership Retreat for church, I knew I was sick.  I wasn't sure I could even make it through the rest of the sessions. You know its bad when I'm thinking we should leave early so that I can go to Urgent Care on the way home.  I was also being a BEAR to my husband. I would have these moments where I'm complaining, yelling, crying and just completely a wreck.  Poor guy doesn't know if he's coming or going!!

Saturday night I took alot of pain meds to get through the night. My mom came over and made me swab Watkins (which is like vicks) all over my face and then stand over a steam pot. It would give me such blissful release while I stood over it but as soon as I laid down, I was in horrible pain and couldn't even sleep.  I took 2 hydrocodone that Cornelius had from his back injury thinking it would help- it did, and I slept, but then I was so sick to my stomach. I woke up at 2am and then 5am and then finally at 7:30am on Sunday morning. My mom came and drove me to Urgent Care. I couldn't even muster up the strength I was so weak. When I walked into Urgent Care I was near tears and the receptionist even handed me a barf bag because I looked that wretched....so I cried.

I have a sinus infection. The Urgent Care Doc was wonderful. He checked my sugar and urine. My sugar was surprisingly good for having had raisen bran and almond milk. Only 133. Pretty good for not having much protein and mostly a sugary breakfast.  I went home and then threw up in my drive way as soon as I got out of the truck. My mom told me "Hey, don't pass out cause I can't carry you in."....makes me laugh now! 

My mom gave me a good lecture. She told me that I need to take a dose of my own medicine. I tell everyone in my family to take care of themselves and I haven't been doing that for me. I've been losing hair. And you know its bad when family members notice it and even your hair dresser tells you that your hair has really thinned out.  I hadn't completed my bloodwork that the doc wanted me to do back in December....yep, I've been a bad little girl. And on top of it, I've been only sleepiong like 5-6 hours a night.  RIDICULOUS.  You can't go like I've been going on that little of sleep.  My mom told me I was a complete emotional and physical wreck and that it's no wonder that I'm so sick.

So the moral of this story- I'm a mess.  And it took me getting really sick to see that I need to take care of myself emotionally and physically by:

1. Getting sleep!

2. Following up with my doctor appointments

3. Eating and exercising

4. Probably the most important- connecting with God and others in a way where I am not hiding what's really going on inside of me. 

I've been on this road to physical health and was pushing myself because I wasn't really dealing with some heart issues.

HEART ISSUES PEOPLE!!  That is pretty big stuff and it can affect your health if you don't keep them in check and tempered by God's view.

"Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge."

Psalm 61:1-3

I'm so thankful for a God that is my refuge. He's a protection and He wants to care for me- but only if I let Him and I'm bad about being a kid that runs carelessly away from the one who wants to take care of me. Sometimes its not even intentionally that I run away from Him but more because I think "I got things under control!"

I'm getting lab work done this week and my doctor appointment is May 9th.  And there are some other things I'm dealing with that I think are just better to keep between a few trusted few and not put on my blog for the world to read. :) 

So I keep trekking on and I'm so full of thankfulness for a God that is faithful and for a momma that set me straight this weekend. LOVE YOU MOM!

Mom and me January 2013 in Downtown Disney

Isn't my mom so beautiful?!

I DID SOMETHING I'VE NEVER DONE BEFORE

So I did it......I did something I've never done before.  I got up at 4:30am and left my house to go and run/walk.  I feel crazy awesome!!!  I've read about women doing that- going to exercise early in the morning and how I thought they were crazy, or just complete health nuts. Or I thought, "They are just really into exercising and I have a long way to go before I ever do that."

It all happened because I saw a community friend post on her facebook page that she signed up for her first 5k at the Maple Syrup Festival.  I was so excited because it's my first 5k too!  And the other cool thing is she's doing it with her exercise buddies like I am too.  Well, her exercise buddies workout at the highschool gym around 5:15am Monday-Friday.  And they invited me to come! They run Monday, Wednesday and Friday and then do Insanity Tuesday and Thursday.  So I invited my sister and dad to come along.  I think I would have gone alone but since Gina and I are needing to get ready for this 5k, I knew she would want to come.

 So I get up at 4:30am and I'm all excited. It's like raining, and ice on the trees and about 32/33 degrees out and I trekked out to go and walk/jog.  I was so proud of myself.  And it wasn't because I could keep up with those cute little exercising ladies- No, I felt awesome because I was DOING IT!  I was walking/jogging in the early morning hours and it felt good.  No, I am not crazy!  I am a 250 + pound lady who really wants to be healthy and lose weight to LIVE and I did something intentional to reach that goal. And it felt so good. :)

To help me start my morning, I drank my Spark, from Advocare. It's Fruit Punch flavored and I LOVE IT. It is a sugar free, low calorie energy drink and I can't live without it- its way better for you than coffee or any energy drinks.I can't do those enegry drinks because they taste nasty and make you jittery, but SPARK is amazing. It has all these nutrients and it just kicks butt for giving you sustaining physical and mental energy. 

And the rain today doesn't make me depressed- instead I'm thinking of rain that washes us clean. Rain in April that brings May flowers.  Rain that feeds the earth and in turn brings "new life".  :)

Embracing my life today with joy with this new victory under my belt!

 Happy Friday Friends!

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things."
Philippians 4:8 NIV

Yesterday I was so discouraged.  To the point that I cried on the way home from work.

My pastor read this verse on Sunday when he was talking about the "battlefield of the mind". So many of our struggles are in our minds ands its bringing our thoughts under God's Lordship and looking to Him and thinking about what is true, and right just like what Philippians 4:8 says.

My grandpa loved this Bible Verse. I remember on New Years Eve when we would do a prayer or read from the Bible before it struck midnight, he would give the family this verse for the coming year.  It was like a "life verse" for him.  And as the weather is warming up, I think of him and how he'd be outdoors, digging in the dirt, planting and growing things. He was such a nurturer of living things. He had this quiet and gentle way about him that was so peaceful to be around.  I miss his weathered worn hands and his sweet kisses.  And as I write this stears sting my cheek and I think of how he would encourage me in his quiet way to think on what is TRUE, NOBLE and RIGHT- God's Word; whatever is PURE, LOVELY and ADMIRABLE- those things in my life which bring honor to Him becasue they are from my heart with the right motives.  And whatever is EXCELLENT and PRAISEWORTHY- grandpa would say that my efforts to be healthy are excellent and praiseworthy because they are about being healthy to work for Him, my Lord.  Grandpa wouldn't say this with words (because he was a quiet man)- but his actions.  

So I'm keeping my chin up. I'm realizing that even if I don't see the results that I want or expect to see, that I have to go based on truth and facts and not on my feelings that can be so fleeting. 

If anything grandpa taught me is that "SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE".  Grandpa was a constant and steady fixture. He was not hurried or worried. He was calm and peaceful. He was faithful and committed to his work with such steadfast devotion. That is how I need to be in my heart and my attitude towards healthy living and weight loss should be that of steadfastness.

Let me be like that Lord.  And I'm sorry because I don't want to be a pity party but I do want to be honest about how I feel.  And it probably doesn't help that I'm on my monthly and have a head cold and just feel like blah! Oh the joys of being a woman!!

Cornelius made this beautiful Angel Food Cake for my coworkers April Birthday Party.  It was a huge hit. Isn't it just so beautiful? And it tasted heavenly.  He made the angel cake during the half time of the Michigan Lousiville game last night.  Then this morning he got up at 6am to make the pineapple cool whip filling. The glaze is made from the pineapple juice and then he added the little clemintines for the artwork. Yep, he's pretty amazing.  Oh and the eggs he made the cake with our from our chickens. Just sharing this picture of his artwork. He truly is gifted when it comes to baking and cooking. 

And he remains at my side encouraging me along my health journey, never pointing a figure, accusing me or judging me- only loving me.

And let me tell you, I'm not as sweet to Cornelius as he is to me right now. I just feel like a big ball of...yuck! Not sure how to describe it.  Just pray for me. Even a tough strong girl like me needs prayer and encouragement.

Remember Philippians 4:8 today and "Slow and Steady Wins the Race"

EASTER PICTURES FROM CRYSTAL LAKE COMMUNITY CHURCH SERVICE

Because Cornelius and I are usually so busy with Worship and Kid's Church on Sunday mornings, we don't get pictures of things that happen or that we're apart of on Sunday. I'm thankful that these pictures were taken by our Pastor's wife, Michelle, so that I can have them and share them with you. 

We had a small but MIGHTY Easter Choir. Only 12 people but everyone sang loud and clear and we sang so well together. We had all parts represented- Soprano, alto, tenor and bass.  I was so proud of everyone and how it came together.

Cornelius played the part of Jesus in our Easter drama. Its a hard part to play. And he actually had bruises/red marks from the ropes that he hung from.

Pastor Stephen and Cornelius built the tomb and the effects with the lighting and fog was very effective.  The two Marys visiting the tomb and finding it empty

You can only see Cornelius and the two adult angels, but our Abby was an angel in the play too and was so proud to be apart of the drama.

We had a wonderful Easter service and the church was packed, standing room only.  The kids stayed in the service and we only had nursery for the newborns to 3 year olds.  Jaelle loved playing with her friends in the nursery and I posted a few pictures of her in there with them in the previous post.

Looking at these pictures, I am so very thankful to be apart of a church that our WHOLE family can serve and be part of. 

Easter 2013 Pictures