Trading One Addiction For Another

We went to the mall yesterday and had a really good time.  I packed healthy snacks, water etc for me and the girls.  My dad treated us to dinner out and I made a healthy choice of fish, steamed broccoli and a cole slaw with an olive oil vinegrette.  The grilled fish was amazing and had about 2TBSP of fresh fruit  on top(like mandrin organges and mangoes) for a sweet taste.  YUMMY.
 Abby got her ears pierced and some new clothes for summer.  We got some sweet deals at Aeropostle.  Everything was 60-75% off!  I maybe went over the top.....no, I went way over the top.  I could have spent less.  But I justified it as "she really needed the clothes". Which she did need the clothes but no $300 some dollars worth!
 Later when I got home I was thinking about the whole day.  Maybe I over analize things, but in all honesty, its a good quality to be retrospective. I think that because I couldn't spend on junk food like a pretzel and cheese, coffee- with much too much sugar and cream, ice cream (all items that I probably would have gotten on a normal visit to the mall), I spent on clothes.
What I'm trying to say is this- it's easy to transfer your addiction to another unhealthy addiction.  I'm wondering if the core issue I have is not food, but being compulsive and without self control. And I transfer this core problem into food and other things in my life.

GALATIONS 5:22-26
²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. ²⁴ Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. ²⁵ Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. ²⁶ Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

The opposite of self control:

• Selfishness or selfish ambition
• rage
• disobedience
• rebellion

When you do not have the fruit of Self Control in your life- everything goes out of control.  It affects how you are with your family, friends, finances, spouse, food, your spouse- it effects EVERYTHING.

Verse 24 talks about when you belong to Christ you crucify the flesh and its passions and desires.  My flesh is selfish.  My flesh thinks only of me and what I want.  My flesh acts on emotion and is compulsive.  But when I crucify flesh, I have love, I have joy, I have peace, I have patience, I have kindness to others, I have goodness and I'm faithful in all that I do at work, home and God and I'm gentle and I am self controlled/disciplined.  WOW!!  All those things are contingent upon my CRUCIFYING and SUBMITTING to God's Spirit in my life.  And when you submit, you have the abundance of good fruit in your life.

I don't want to trade my problem with food for another problem/addiction.  Its important to be aware and sensitive to the issues at heart.  I am looking past the food and looking at me as a whole person -why and how I use food, things, or people in my life reveals my heart and my issue with self control.

I am thankful for God in my life, for His Spirit that speaks to me and shows me things. 

Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Psalm 36:5

My yummy meal

I gave my recipe to this in my previous post.  It totally does not look like diet food and was very yummy. :)

Day 8, 9 and 10- LESSONS LEARNED

The past 3 days have been so busy.  Normally the busy schedule would make me want to nap or make me so overwhelmed, but instead, I feel energy for all my tasks.  Its such a wonderful feeling.

LESSON 1
Thursday I left the house at 7:30am and didn't get home until 9:30pm.  I met with a young lady that I am mentoring after work.  Then went to the church to give voice lessons to a new gal.  Then 7pm Worship practice.  I wasn't able to get supper.  I ate my snack that day at 3:30pm when I had an apple with 2 tbsp of natural peanut.  I told Cornelius that normally I would be so weak or have a sugar crash from not eating supper. Lesson learned: When you eat good food that fuels your body, it keeps your blood sugars stable, and then you don't have crashes.  Common sense I know- but its been so long since I have experienced this.

LESSON 2
Friday I enjoyed a really great day off from work.  I was good and took healthy snacks and water in the van with me.  Because I did that I was able to enjoy shopping and run errands without feeling weak or hungry.  I will admit that it was hard to walk into Target and small that Starbucks coffee and not get any.  I got a hot tea and it made me feel pretty good that I was able to go out where no one knows this commitment I've made, and stick to my plan.  Lesson learned: Keep healthy snacks in vehicle to avoid unhealthy eating choices while out shopping. 

Friday night I did the best walk I've done. 2.45 miles in 43 minutes.  I'm getting closer to my 3 miles in 45 minutes.  I jogged the end of my walk to get that time but it felt good and I was so proud of myself.  I listened to my music on my Droid the whole walk.  I found my motivator.  Music drives me.  Listening to that music while I walked totally motivated.  Certain songs would come on and I just wanted to break into a run!  I kept a good walking pace the whole time.  Lesson learned: Find what motivates you and encourages you to keep you focused and on track.  When you find it, it's so amazing.  I look forward to walking, to that time I have to listen to the music, think and just be in God's presence. Music pulls me into God's presence and Spirit and when you are in that place, you are able to surrender flesh and walk in God's strength.

LESSON 3
Saturday morning I got up at 6:30am with Jaelle.  Totally enjoyed the early morning with the girls.  I got SO MUCH done.  I had my normal breakfast (egg whites and oatmeal) and the girls had oatmeal pancakes.  Cornelius makes amazing pancakes.  Cornelius went out to mow and I mopped, did laundry and made lunch.  I made them creamy tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwhiches- but on Cornelius' home-made bread.  I ate grilled chicken, spinach salad and quinoa with squeezed lemon.  It was all good.  Afterwards we all went to the basement to work on purging our house of too much junk. I was so excited about how much we did.  Cornelius went out to feed the animals and I was in trying to figure out what to eat....I didn't plan ahead and so I was starting to feel really discouraged about this whole eating thing.  I just wanted to eat and not think about it or care or worry about whether it was good for me or not.  Cornelius came in from outside and I suggested he get pizza for him and the girls.  He told me "I can make good home-made pizza at home."  So then I thought to myself, "I can make good food for me too.  Its ok.  I can eat yummy food too."  So I got to work.  Instead of using meat, I used egg whites in my rice/bean dish.  Its almost like a fried vietnamese rice except I made mine with a spanish flavor and didn't fry it.

• Cook Brown rice and put aside (I boiled it with sliced onions, cumin, cilantro)
• Can of black beans and a can of diced tomatoes with green chiles
• Add chopped onions, cumin, cilantro,chili powder and garlic and let it boil with the beans and tomotoes
• I took 1/2 cup of cooked rice and added 2 egg whites and 1 yolk and fried it in a pan with Pam Spray. 
• Then when I fried it up good, I put it on a plate and added 1/4 cup of my yummy bean topping
• I chopped fresh tomatoes and onions to garnish the top of my yummy rice meal.

I took a great picture of my food but I can't upload it.  I'll share it when I can upload it. :)  Lesson learned: Plan ahead or you will make bad choices or get depressed and make a food choice based on emotion.

Tomorrow marks day 11 of the 24 day Advocare challenge.  We are planning to go to the mall.  Abby wants to use her gift certificate at Build A Bear and get her ears pierced.  I need to plan and make good choices.  Part of me wants to just let it go and not worry about it.  But I can do this.  I can make good food choices even when I'm out in town.  It just takes discipline and being intentionaly.  I'm going to plan ahead, pack my good snacks and I've already decided what I'm going to eat when we eat out. 

These lessons learned these past few days seem very simple and basic. But when you learn them personally, it's different.  Ive heard people talk this way, but never experienced myself.  I'm learning to eat for life and it's hard to break these habits.  But one day at a time...one day at a time is what I need to worry about and God will continue to walk with me through this and I keep putting my hope in Him and His promise to complete this good work that He has begun in me.

Day 7 April 25th

I did something new yesterday.  I went walking by myself.  Cornelius was at piano lessons with the girls from 4-5pm and they wouldn't be home until 5:30pm.  I went right after work to walk the trail.  I had my DROID and earbuds and listened to Pandora.  I noticed my pace was faster and I felt more excited about this walk.  I was afraid to walk by myself thinking I might be slower or get lonely BUT I found that it was very energizing to have this time to myself to think, pray, sing and just walk.  And I was proud of myself for doing this walk "on my own".  I can't always depend on people to go walk with me or do this exercise program.  I have to decide to do this every day whether I have someone on my side or whether I'm alone.  My average speed was 3.31 miles per hour and I burned 221 calories.  I walked 2.2 miles in 39.56 minutes. :)  GO ME!!

On another note: There has been alot of turmoil emotionally/spiritually in our house the past month.  It seems since I started this journey last week that it has gotten worse or more intense.  I'm not saying that there is screaming matches or that we are fighting.  What I am saying is that the girls and Cornelius have shared issues that have been going on in them or with them that hadn't been shared until now.  Last night I felt led to call Cornelius' mom to have her pray for Cornelius.  I texted Cornelius' sister Sarah to get Irene's number because I didn't have it in my new phone.  She gave it to me.  Not an hour later, Irene called.  I told her I was in the middle of getting the girls to bed and if I could call her back.  She said that sounded great.  In my mind I thought "Sarah must have told Irene that I was going to call her."  Anyway, I called Irene about 9pm and we talked until 10:30pm.  I have never talked with Irene that long on the phone.  It was so good.  I was encouraged and she prayed for Cornelius, me and the girls.  She told me that noted in an email that I sent a while back to the family that I was going to be meeting with a gal about my health.  I asked her if she had read my blog and she said no.  So I filled her in on this journey I've started and how I realized that I'm in bondage to food.  She then told me something that in the past, I would have been hurt or upset by.  But this time, I totally received it and felt so loved.  She told me that she had noted the weekend she and Katrina visited (March 17-19) that I had gained weight since she last saw me.  She noted that once I sat down, I pretty much just sat and asked the girls to get things for me.  "Cherri, after that visit with you I felt lead to pray for you regarding your health."  said Irene.  She knows me well enough to know that I am and have been very sensitive about my weight and health.  But this time, hearing that just made me feel very loved AND know that God cares about my health.  Irene's prayers were heard. 
My dad had told me the same thing a month ago too-he hugged me and said "Cherri, I don't want to have what happened to me, happen to you."  And I said to him, "Dad, are you telling me I'm fat?"  "No.  I'm telling you that I love you."  wow......what do you say to that? It pricked my heart and stayed with me and that is one of the things that lead me to take Julia's challenge.  And how awesome that God put Julia and her husband Casey in my life so that I could have people who are experienced and educated in walking with people like me through this.

One more cool thing about day 7.  I started a Bible Reading Challenge to read my Bible in one year Chronologically.  My friend Mistie told me about youversion.com.  I uploaded it to my phone and LOVE IT.  Last night I started and we had 3 chapters read to us.  The girls thought it was very cool. :)  I'm excited for when I read tonight.

God's faithfulness is new every morning.  Amen

Half WAY THROUGH

Things are still going good.  Several accomplishments on April 24th.  When I arrived home from work, I found a beautiful table FULL of very yummy smelling and looking cookies made by my lovely daughters.  I DID NOT TASTE ONE.  I had a desire to pick one up and eat it, but in my mind I said "No, I made a commitement to myself, God and family that I was going to stick to this plan. I'm not hungry and I can't eat sugar and fat."  So I turned and walked away.  Cornelius apologized for not having them put away when I came home.  He was putting them in freezer bags for when company comes. 
After softball Cornelius took the girls to get an icrecream cone.  I sat in the van with Jaelle and again did not get one.  And it was ok.  I wasn't sad, or drooling.  I know that one day I will be able to have an icecream cone, but not today, and its ok. 
We did our exercises as a family when we got home and we all did better with them.  The girls made their own little chart to keep track of what they do each time we exercise. They are so proud of what they are doing too.
I had a really good talk with my friend Mistie from Evansville IN last night.  She is so encouraging and I just lover her in general.  She doesn't struggle with food and never has in her life. Food is for fuel and sustenance, not a hobby or past time. I don't mind sharing with her because I know she loves me and she'll pray.  And she gives great advice.  Her hubby can run a 6 minute mile....WOW.  I told Mistie that when I walk, I can just see me running in the future.  I don't see my body and what it looks like but I "see and feel" the wind and the pavement and my legs going.  Its weird and makes me feel like I'm having a vision of my future....one step at a time........I have to pace myself but its ok to dream.

I ate something really yummy yesterday for lunch.  It was the Quinoa with tuna and steamed broccoli and I squeezed lemon juice on it.  It was so very good and I didn't expect that.

The first 10 days of this 24 day challenge is a DETOX challenge and we are half way through.  I've done it and I'm so proud.  Long road ahead, but the first few steps are the hardest and they are behind me.

Here's a verse I posted to my facebook a few days back:
"I look behind me and you're there, then up ahead and you're there, too- your reassuing presence, coming and going.  This is too much, too wonderful- I can't take it all in!"  Psalm 139:5-6 MSG

Day 5 of Challege Under My Belt!

Day 5 went a lot smoother emotionally, mentally and physically.  Monday morning I woke up with a dull headache but it went away by 10am.  My main accomplishment on Day 5 was that I went 2.37 miles in 45 minutes.  Julia gave me a goal to walk 3 miles in 45 minutes.  When I walked the first day and saw my stats I was like there is NO WAY I can even come close to 3 miles in 45 minutes.  But as the days go on and I keep building my stamina and strength, I believe that it is possible.  I am working hard to meet that goal in 2 weeks but if I dont, and if it takes 3 weeks or even 4, I'M GOING TO DO IT.  But right now, I'm not thinking that.  Im striving to reach that goal in 2 weeks.

I had someone ask me what I was training for yesterday.  I guess I'm training "for life".  Training to lose the weight so that I can actually live and do activities that I normally would have said no way to.  One day I'm going to do a weekend hike.  One day I'll go kayaking down a river or on one of Michigan's Lake Shores.  One day I'll be able to rock climb with Cornelius. 

The other thing I thought of was when Julia told me "By end of summer you could run a 5K with me."  And in my mind I thought "Oh, that's so nice of her to think I can do that. But there is no way. I'm not a runner and I'm too big."  But each day I walk and do my strength exercises, I feel more confident and believe that it's possible.....possible that one day I can run a 5K.  I've never run more than 1 mile in my whole life and right now, walking is kicking my butt.  But it FEELS GOOD.  It feels good to walk and pump my heart and see my girls enjoying it with me.  Last night at the end of my walk, I decided to jog to the end.  Becca was cheering me on "Go mommy!  GO! You can do it!"  At first I was like "Be quiet.  This is really hard for mommy."  That was stupid.  And why did I think that?  Why did I not want her to cheer me on?  Because I'm afraid that I'll disappoint her or fail.  Its hard to be vunerable and put yourself out there when you are working on an area in your life that just seems like a fight every day.  But I'm learning a valuable lesson in this.  That I can't do this alone.  That God didn't intend me or anyone to fight battles alone.  That He called us to be His and to lean in on His strength and the strength of others. To trust that He's the one strengthening you and building "your inner man". 

Towards the end of my walk, Cornelius was way ahead of me and I felt this tinge of sadness and loneliness- I don't know why but I did.  Then I started to say a familiar scripture by memory, Psalm 23.  It was the only one that I could do my memory and then I wished that I had more scriptures by memory to focus on.  After I said that Psalm a few times I started to pray.  I just confessed to God how I needed His help and that I believed He could carry me through this challenge and battle in my life and that I would see it to the finish- "He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it." Phil. 1:6

So its the beginning of day 6 and I feel stronger and excited about what I'm going to be able to do by the end of summer.  Excited to see where this new chapter in my life leads me...who knows!!  But God does and I trust Him.

Day 4- The Battlefield of the Mind

So this morning I woke up with a headache and it was the kind of headache that I made me want to stay in bed and sleep it off.  I felt it coming on last night and so I took tylenol. 
Cornelius got home from work around 7:30am and went to bed.  He planned to get up around 10am to go to church with me and the girls.  I so wished I could just stay in bed....I felt terrible and just didn't think I could do today.  The more I thought about the headache, the more I realized what it was.  This was the first time I have been without sugar/candy/carbs for 4 days.  It was a sugar headache- I've had these before and if I'd eat something sweet, it would go away.  I made breakfast for me and Jaelle, Abby and Becca were over to grandma's so the house was quiet.  I made my my normal breakfast and Jaelle and I were having so much fun.  Family Life Radio was playing some good songs and I was singing along and dancing and Jaelle was smiling and laughing.  Then I realized my headache was gone.  I still felt a little weak but there was no reason for it.  I was eating and I wasn't hungy.

Sunday service was powerful.  The message hit straight home and I was brought to tears when I heard Pastor say "My plan wasn't bad. But God's was better"  Stephen was preaching about Seeking God, Submitting to Him and then Transformation happening.  He talked about how we have plans and agendas and they are not necessarily bad.  We sometimes weigh things by either being bad or good.  Well, sometimes we can do something that isn't bad, but its not good because it's not God's way or plan for you.  I heard Pastor preaching and I thought "This is a good message for someone".  But then it was like I got a quick hit to the stomach and it took my breath away and I realize this message was "for me".  I was brought to tears.  I feel like God has been speaking to me about things in my life and that I need to make sure that I submit to His plan and not dismiss it.  Becase when we do, we miss out on the beautiful transformation and blessing that will come out of it.

We left church and I was just so..so....like I was battling.  I felt like I needed food and I was grumpy and angry.  I told Cornelius that I needed his prayers and encouragement especially today because I was really battling.  It was like my body "my flesh" was fighting what I was doing because I am trying to crucify my flesh and follow God and be a good steward of my body.  My mind and body felt weak, but my Spirit within me was saying "Stay strong Cherri!  I am here with you. Its ok."
We get home and I made mac n cheese, nuggets and peas for the girls.  I had a big salad with mexican flavored chicken breast, black bleans, salsa, and a little brown rice.  It was good and hit the spot.  I felt fine and was full. (and no headache)

Cornelius went to bed so that he could sleep a little before he left for work at 5:30pm.  Me, Becca and Jaelle took a nap until 4pm.  It felt good.  I woke up to eat a fruit slushy- Cornelius made it for me.  Strawberries,ice and almond milk blended together and then put in the freezer to get slushy.  Very yummy afternoon snack.  Becca went with me to meet up with a friend in Crystal to walk a few miles by the lake.  It was beautiful and I felt encouraged.  I needed to walk and get my mind off of my day and battle.
We drove home to my parents to get Abby and Jaelle and grandpa and headed to Wendy's for some yummy salad with chicken.  We came home around 7pm and Jaelle fell asleep at 8pm. 

After Jaelle was in bed the girls did my exercises with me.  The girls are so good for me.  I told my parents tonight that I don't think I would have done those exercises if it wasn't for them cheering me on tonight.  I almost feel so undeserving of their support and love.  I didn't have to ask them to encourage me or cheer me.  They just do and they don't complain and they think its fun to exercise with me.  Its so beautiful and I feel so blessed.
Before bed we sat together in the girls' room and we said our prayers and talked.  Its so beautiful how I have this time with the girls and they are apart of what God is doing in my life.  Its growing me and the girls.  Growing us together, and growing us in being healthy and growing....well, maybe transforming us is a better word like what Pastor said in his message- Seek Him, Submit and be Transformed. 

What matters is that I keep on keeping on and that I just take one day at a time and fight the battles that come each day.  Tomorrow is a new day and I can start fresh and know that I'm going to beat this "demon" in my life- food (overeating).
Good night!

Day 2 and 3 of my Challenge- April 20-21st, 2012

I noticed on Friday more energy and probably the most exciting to me, the fact that I'm not hungry. Normally when you start a diet, you feel like you are starving.  Of course I miss my coffee and I'm not denying that I get urges to splurge, but it's not from hunger. Instead, I notice how much of my eating is "habbit" and emotional.  I feel hungry or I crave something and then I stop- I pray or read His Word and sit a minute and then start on something to distract me. Then a few minutes later I realize that I wasn't hungry.

Here's my menu on Friday
April 20
6am -fiber drink and Spark (vitamin B drink)
7:20am -3 egg white omelet with spices, bowl of oatmeal with almond milk
10am -green apple with 2 tbsp all natural PB
11:30am- Spark drink
Noon - quinoa and red lentil soup, green salad w/ black beans and salsa
3pm- 1/4 cup almonds and 1 cup mixed fruit (Abby was so sweet and cut up a bunch of fruit for me)
5pm- grilled chicken, baked sweet potato and steamed zuchinni
6:30-7:15- WORK OUT with girls (Abby & Becca keep me motivated and are so much fun to exercise with)
Evening snack - boiled egg and tea

April 21
7am- fiber drink and spark (vitamin B drink)
9am- 3 egg omelet with spices and bowl of oatmeal with almond milk
10:30- almonds and 1/2 banana
Spark drink
Noon- Quinoa on brown rice
3pm- veggies w/ 1/4 veggie salad w/ olive oil (veggie salad had cut up cucumber, green peppers, black beans)
4:15-5pm- WORKOUT -went walking with Cornelius down the heartland trail. 2.12 miles in 39 minutes
5:30pm- baked fish, 1/2 c brown rice and greenbeans

So I'm 3 days into my challenge and I feel so excited about what I'm doing.  I want to be a better steward of my body.  I want to have strength and stamina to do hikes, walks, canoeing and kayaking.  I want to be able to do these activities with Cornelius and the girls and not hold them back.  Right now I just feel so HUGE- I just didn't realize how big I had gotten.  You just get comfortable with where you are at and start to just be "Well, this is how I am or have always been." or "I just don't have the energy or I'm too busy." 

I want to succeed.  And I want to be a person that is healthy and active. I want to look as beautiful as I am in my heart!!  Maybe that sounds prideful but I know my heart is pure and that I have a heart to love God and others fully but feel like this body holds me back and hinders me- hinders me because of insecurities and fear and doubt that I have. 

So....here's to looking beautiful inside AND out.  I always minimized the outside part, but the truth is, if you are caring for your body and eating how God intended us to use food, then you will be gorgeous without all the extra added stuff.

Kicking off the 24 Day Challenge with Advocare

Last night I started a health program and I'm being held accountable by my family and Julia Raglin.  Julia Raglin is a trainer and has worked with heart patients.  Now she does her own program with people whether at their home or at the gym.  She emailed me about a program called Advocar and wanted to share with me and Cornelius how excited she was to be apart of it.  So she came with her husband Casey and she told me about it.  Basically she told me that it would change my life.  There was a 24 day challenge using the Advocar products and strict food plan for 24 days.  At that time when Julia came, I had been feeling down about my weight.  Since having Jaelle and going back to work, I've gained 20 pounds.  I knew that I needed to get it under control but felt like I didn't have the motivation or energy to do it.  The Advocar product sounded great, but even better was the fact that I'd have a friend, Julia, who was knowledgable and healthy, to challenge me and keep me accountable.  I was hooked.  We ordered our Advocar package April 12th and then started the program once it arrived.

Wednesday April 18th, Julia came to our house to get me started.  She brought me a Workout plan that my whole family could do together.  She watched me do the exercises and then gave me a goal to meet until we met again in 2 weeks. 
And so I began today.  I spent the night before planning my meals, snacks and packaged it the night before.
AND THE QUESTION IS:  How did I do on DAY ONE?
SUCCESS!! 
Wake at 6am and drink Fiber and Spark drink
Shower and dress
Breafast- 3 egg white omelet with black beans and salsa
2 fish oil pills
Snack 10am- apple and 2 tbsp of peanut butter
11:30am Spark drink (filled with vitamin B for mental health and energy)
Lunch- big salad with greens, chicken breast, half egg, black beans and salsa
Snack- 1/4 cup almonds and plum
5pm - Quinoa and lentil soup
5:30-6:30 2.12 mile walk on Heartland trail in 42:05 minutes.  Average speed is 3.02 mi/h and I burned 262 calories per MapMy RUN+ app for my Android Phone.
Snack: boiled egg, raw carrots (1/4 cup) and a bite of chicken breast (size of thumb)
Tea and herbal cleanse pills before bed

I also drank half a gallon of water today during work hours and then more at home.  I've never peed this much in one day in my life!! :)

Today I was battling my mind.  I see this as a battle to kick this addiction to food.  People have addictions to gambling, smoking, drinking- and then there are those who eat.  And food has captured my attention in a way that is unhealthy.  I use it for emotional, social and mental comfort and I need to put food back where it belongs.  It only is the fuel to keep my body healthy and not intended to fill other voids or needs.  Several times today I took out the Word and focused on scripture and prayer to get me through the battle going on in my mind.  AND IT WORKED.  Now to keep at it!!
 I decided that the best thing I can do for myself is to chronicle my steps on this health journey.  So that I can see where I was and see where I end.  I want to be healthy for my husband and kids and right now I am not.  I can't enjoy activities with them because of my weight and eating habbits being such a hinderance.  We took pictures today so that we can show the before and after pics. :)

SCRIPTURES FROM TODAY:
For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength Phil. 4:13

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. Psalm 55:22

Seek the Lord and his strength; see his presence continually! Psalm 105:4

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will
uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his might power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Ephesians 4:20

Easter April 8 2012

So we had a beautiful Easter Weekend.  The weather was sunny and breezy.  We enjoyed a fun egg hunt and games on Saturday with my sister Gina and her 2 kids, Kenidee and Seth.  Jaelle was able to walk about in the grass and EAT the grass while the older ones did their egg hunt.  Gina did bubbles with a big bubble wand just like a kid and oh yeah, she did a bunny hop race with Becca.  She's such a hoot!  I took a ton of pictures that weekend so I'll try not to post the 100 some that I took! :)  Aunt Ginna,Grandma and Uncle Danny came for Easter lunch.  We had a beautiful time.

Jaelle seeing Easter Eggs for the 1st time

Kenidee and Jaelle and their cutie pie smiles

The kids filled the eggs before the hunt, but Seth mostly ate the treats and didnt help

Look how big I am mommy

Becca practicing the bunny hop before she raced Auntie Gina.

Kenidee did the egg hunt in her pjs!

All the kids and their eggs after the hunt

Seth loved the bubble ducky necklace I gave him.

Princess Kenidee

Gina made lots of bubbles

Grandma and her 3 little gems!

Mommy and her busy walking 10 month old!

Daddy and his sweet pea.

I love Elmo mommy!

My sister Gina, her 2 kids and my 3 girls and their daddy before Sunrise Breakfast Easter morning at 8am

Our little Easter Family

Seth making sure mommy and grandpa are watching him go.

Mommy and her beautiful jewels.

I love the heartland trail!  Its so nice to have it close to our home.

Sharing our gifts

April 4rth our family went to Warwick Nursing Home in Alma to do a family show of juggling and music.  Cornelius scheduled it with the events coordinator, Bekha, last month .  We did it as a gift for my Great Aunt Virginia.  She lives at Warwick and has asked if we would come and do a show.  So finally we came.  The show started at 7pm.  The girls played several songs and sang each one song.  Abby did "Shine On Us" and Becca did "Firm Foundation".  Becca and I played a real fun duet called "Carnival" and it worked out great for Cornelius to juggle to it.  I played a Joplin piece while Cornelius juggled and Jaelle toddled about entertaing the people with her sweetness.  It was just so wonderful to see how they responded.  Even the ones who didn't talk much, smiled and responded to the girls and especially little Jaelle. We closed the program singing "You Are My Sunshine" and a few of the folks sang along...it was so touching.  After our program I went to each person with the girls and I took their hand and thanked them for coming and asked them their name.  Their whole face just lit up- it meant so much to have someone to just ask their name.  They each proudly told me their names and especially liked when Jaelle would reach for them.  Jaelle took one ladies hand and took a bite of her finger!  The lady laughed and Jaelle's eyes got big as saucers and then offered her own squeal. 
It was so good for our family to do this.  To do an activity where we are sharing and using our gifts to bless others.  Also, for us to work together as a family- there is value in this.  Builds strength in our family, in our faith and in our love.  We learn to respect eachother and what we each have to offer.  And finally, its good for us to share with those that have been forgotten.  I see how the elderly have been tucked away and forgotten and how we have lost the value of our elders.  But even if its not a popular part of our culture, I can teach my children and they can pass this legacy on.

Here is a sweet picture of Abby loving on her great grandma Ophia, 95 years old.  This picture just shows how much Abby cherishes my grandma and how the value of having elders in our lives is being passed on to my children.

TID BITS about our FLORIDA TRIP

February our family had an opportunity to go to Disney in Florida.  We stayed with our wonderful friends Fred and Cheryl Engle.  They had a dreamy home in Davenport Florida, which was only 25 minutes from Orlando. 4 rooms, 3 full baths, underground pool and a fun play area in the garage.  We had first thought we would drive but then my dad convinced me to look for tickets.  Plus, the thought of driving with 3 kids for 25 hours straight through and then only having a few days in FL, well, it just sounded ridiculous.  I found a package for $850 some dollars that included non-stop, round way tickets and a rental vehicle for 6 days for a family of 5.  Amazing!!  I booked it that night!  We were there February 8th around midnight to February 14th.  Jaelle was a gem.  She traveled like a pro.  She slept the first hour on the plane and then the last hour she ate snacks and peeked around at everyone.  It wasn't the warmest in FL, in fact it was rather cool!  Only 60s most of the time.  The day we were in the Magic Kingdom it was 70 and sunny.  PERFECT!  The girls loved the rides at the Magic Kingdom and the firework show was truly magical.  I cried....it was so wonderful to be there with the girls and see their awestruck faces.  We were so blessed to get the tickets for free for the Magic Kingdom because of Fred's friend who works there.  Then the next day on Saturday the 11th we went to the Animal Kingdom.  We all agreed that it was our favorite destination.  The Safari ride was out of this world!  It truly felt like you were in Africa.  The landscape, the jeep, the animals right outside your window and close!  Giraffes, wildabeast, rhinos, osteriches, Elephants and even a lion and lioness!!  No zoo will ever compare.  When we were going through an African village, I got invited into a dance with a group of African men entertainers.  They sang and danced and beat their drums.  Cornelius video taped me.  Then Becca got to ride her first REAL roller coaster with dad.  We were there all day and Jaelle never once complained.
Our whole trip to Florida was full of God blessing us by free tickets to Disney, cheap airline tickets, a wonderful place to stay with friends for free, gifts from friends and strangers and just a wonderful family vacation.  I felt overwhelmed by God's goodness and thankful for His blessing and provision.

On our way back to MI, when we landed in Detroit, Cornelius received a text message to call one of the managers at United Solar where he works.  He found out that United Solar had filed bankrupcy and were having an emergency meeting the next day.  We knew that they were not doing well and that most of the guys were laid off, but this was definitely a sign of trouble in the future of the company.  Cornelius had been approved a loan to buy a Better Maide Chip route business and was going to give his 2 week notice before the meeting, when he got a call from the guy he was buying the business from.  He decided not to sell. :(  So here we are.  Cornelius was laid off for the first time for 3 weeks in March and now back to work.  They told him that they would know for sure by mid April what is going to happen with the company.  So right now we wait, we pray and we wait and pray and we wait....and we TRUST.  Trust that God knows our future, he knows the plans he has for us and we need to just take life a day at a time and a step at a time and let His still voice speak to us and lead us.  Cornelius has been very patient.  And I feel a peace.  Peace but almost anxious and excited to see what God is going to do next.  We have thought about Cornelius going back to school so that he can get a degree and advance somewhere else. And then he still has a dream of owning his own business and is now the right time?  I keep believing that my husband will know what to do when the time is right and I just need to let my husband lead and pray for him.

So such is life and that is what is going on now.  Hopefully our computer will be fixed soon so I can post pictures. Our Florida pictures are AWESOME!

She's walking!

So on March 31st, Jaelle decided that she no longer was going to crawl. She started walking and then when she fell down, it was right back up.  By the next day, Sunday she was really getting around pretty smoothly and quickly.  Pretty good for just turning 10 months old on April 1, 2012!!  Jaelle is truly a joy.  She looks at you with her eyes with so much emotion and her laugh and smile are contagious.  She's just so much fun!  Here are a few pics I took with my cell phone that weekend of her.  Can it truly be that my little baby is toddling around and will be 1 year old June 1st?