Pep Talk from Corn and Weightloss pictures

So last night I had a break down- not sure if it was because I'm sick with a urinary tract infection or because I just started my cycle (those are 2 potent reasons for my little crying spell last night!)
I laid in bed and just poured my heart out to Cornelius. He just listened. But I was feeling like all the work I put into my eating and exercising just seems to be SO MINIMAL with my results.  Just little results and I told him "people have to look at me and think "This is a joke. She doesn't even see that she's working hard for nothing."  And I just felt like my lot in life is so ufair. And I explained in detail how all throughout the day I deny self or I say no to something because I know its just added fat and sugar. For example, I'm at work and I have one plate of picnic food from our work picnic.  I did eat a small serving of dessert but I so could have had MORE.  Everyone else was.  And I just had to tell myself, "No, you can have your fruit and yogart snack later." And then I was in town and I really wanted to eat a burger and fries. Especially since I'm since and started my cycle, it doesn't matter if I eat those extra calories because I always gain water weight on my period anyways.  But instead, while I was waiting to pick up my meds from the pharmacy, I ate a berry chicken salad instead with a glass of water.  Then I thought, "Well, it wouldn't hurt to get some icecream since I ate a good supper."  But I talked myself out of that too.  Instead, when I got home, Cornelius and the girls were ready to go for a jog down the Heartland trail. We threw the girls bikes and Jaelle's stroller in the back of the truck and away we went. This was my turn to push the stroller. Cornelius wanted to see how fast he could run tonight without Jaelle.  He did 4 miles in 33 minutes!!  One of his best times! Jaelle and I did a mile together. That little girl is going to be a runner. I believe it.

Jaelle asked to get out of the stroller and then said "Lets go mommy! Let's run!"  She actually was running quite fast and I was surprised how far and fast she was running! 

Anyways, it was a good evening with my family even with getting home late from Urgent Care with a urinary tract infection and I think I showed some serious dedication to get exercise even with how I was feeling.

All this to say that as I lay in bed crying, feeling like I work so hard for hardly any progress- I contemplated and told Cornelius that I was thinking about surgery- yep, I said the word- SURGERY.  The kind where they go in and do crazy stuff to help you lose fat fast. It totally scares me and I really don't want to but with just losing 12 pounds since April and a total of 10 inches, you'd think I'd lose more with all the work I put into this.  And the moaning and groaning continued for a few more minutes and I started to drift to sleep.......then I asked half asleep to Cornelius "Are you asleep?" He answers "no."  "Do you have anything to say about all this?"

"Cherri, little things add up.  Every little pound or inch adds up in the long run.  And God says when we're faithful with little, then he'll entrust us with much."  I shed a few more tears because I KNOW HE'S RIGHT.  And its not an issue of wanting to give up, but an issue of wanting God to honor all my hard work with BIG RESULTS.

So do I feel amazing this morning. Not really.  Do I want to give up? No.  Do I like exercising? Yes, actually I feel good and I love seeing my family doing it along side me too. And man is my husband so supportive. He doesn't tell me what to do, or how to do it. He doesn't ask me how much I've lost or anything like that. He supports me in that he's doing this whole thing along side me and he tells me he's proud of me. He hugs me when I need a hug, he wipes a tear when I need my tears wiped and he's there when I run or complete that 5K.  And that is what I need right now. His constant belief that I can do this.  That I will be able to beat this obesity in my life. That eventually I won't be writing about losing weight, but instead about MAINTAINING that goal weight.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AjQKiv937Wl3dE45RUJmLURfd3JBdDgtaHpudnpoTUE&usp=sharing

Quality versus Quantity or Quantity versus Quality

 There is nothing that I love more to do than spend time with my family.  And with working full time, volunteering as the Worship Director at Crystal Lake Community Church, small group leader and trying to fit in exercise time into my daily routine, finding family time can be super hard to fit in on a DAILY basis.  There is the whole debate on quality versus quantity and etc. To me, the more time I can put into my family and home, the more that they will flourish.  It only makes sense. If I only went to work once a week and had a full time job, my work would suffer.  And when you don't invest time and energy into your marriage, your marriage suffers. So how they can say that quality over quantity is better- I'm just not quite sure.  But if you disagree and want to let me know why and support it with your theories, I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR IT.  Because honestly, I struggl like any mom/parent wanting to spend more time with my children and famly.

So last Sunday I was a heathen.  I wasn't on the schedule to lead worship.  So I slept in until 8:30am and then took my girls to Tim Hortons and then to Meijers for a few groceries. I love my children. They are my gems, my jewels and they are extremely precious.  Not because they are mine, but because God gave them to me on loan while I'm on earth and I truly need cherish them.  They teach me so much about me and life in general.  And there is no greater joy than to see your child flourish and develop into the beautiful person God created them to be.  So with all that said, here are some very cute pics from this week past week.

 Jaelle loves sprinkles.  She stood and looked at all those donuts and quickly went back to "the sprinkles".

Abby and Becca- so beautiful and unique. Abby sensitive, sweet, caring and serving. Always there to encourage and help. Very crafty. Becca is spicey, strong, intelligent, techy, musical and well, she surpises me each day and I'm curious as to how she'll be as a young adult. 

Can you see their different personalities in this picture?

My Three Musketeers!

We went grocery shopping at Meijer's after Tim Hortons.  Jaelle doesn't take pictures well. In fact she hates looking at the camera.  This is the best I could get. Notice her baby doll hanging by its head?!

The other night Becca said, "Lets all go swimming in our pool as a family." I had wanted to go walk that night but we decided that a swim did sound fun.  The pool needs to be treated but we still enjoyed it.

Cornelius was throwing Jaelle up higher and higher. She was like "Again daddy! Again!"

She's flying!  And look at Abby...she looks just as happy as Jaelle.

After our swim Cornelius was feeding Jaelle fresh raw peas from the garden.  She wasn't too fond of them.

Hmm. Wild berry picking in the woods.

Carrots in our garden.  Jaelle was so surprised when Cornelius dug it out for her to see.

Cornelius built this cool teepee out of sticks from our woods for our climbing beans.  The girls like playing in it.

One of our hen layers

Martha our turkey- she is actually a he.

Scary turkey eye.

After our swim Jaelle wanted to bundle up in a towel and warm up because "I cold mommy!"

A stroll in our woods

Hmmmm...wild berries.

Thank you mommy. I like berries.

And we are in the dark woods. You can see that Jaelle had a few mosquito bites, a messy berry face and the fascination in the feather she found on the ground.  "That big bird feather mommy" 

Let Not Your Heart Be Troubled!

Message from fellow facebook friend:
"Cherri, tell me about some of your best fitness tips, and diet changes that help you become successful in losing weight. I just went to my 20 year reunion and after looking at photos of me and my thin friend, I really need to get serious about getting in better shape. (I know its not about comparing myself to others either..I want to do it for me) I can't afford to hire anyone to help. Are you food journalling, counting calories, or any of that? I could really use someone's help to keep me accountable."

My response to my facebook friend:

Would you be interested in being apart of a book study I want to do this fall called "Made to Crave" ? It is faith based and POWERFUL. I read it last year. The focus is not about numbers which us women get caught up in. Its not about comparing. Its about being healthy and having a right heart, mind and attitude about our body and our health. I'd love for you to join me. I'm trying to find at least 8 ladies to come and do this study at my home. Check it out on Amazon and tell me what you think of the book.
Tips-
1. accountability/buddy.
2. Have reasonable attainable goals
3. Start one thing (counting calories or a food journal)
4. Exercise - try to walk at least 3 times a week. Or find an activity you enjoy
5. Pray and seek God as you go on this health journey.
And finally, I'd love to talk to you in person because I'm seriously just like you- struggling each day to stay faithful and have a right heart about my body and image.
I'm so glad you contacted me via facebook. If you'd like to talk or meet up, let me know!!
Cherri

 

 Friends,

I seriously blog and keep you posted on facebook of my life/health journey so that you all see that life is about being real, sharing our struggles, working together to help eachother and care eachother's burdens.

I shared this message from my facebook friend with you today because I know there are more of you out there that are feeling the same way- you need help or a something/someone to help you.

 

You are not alone! I read this verse today and it really encouraged me and a friend that I shared it with when she was sharing with me some hurt.

 

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

John 14:27 KJV

 

Don't be afraid or discouraged friend. God is there and He wants to give you a peace and the strength to endure whatever challenge you are facing.  Let not your heart be troubled! 

 

 

 

I Cannot Lie!

I was planning on doing this Vestaburg Community Days 5K for awhile now. It was in my home town and I knew I'd run into people I know. I had hoped we could do it as a family but as the weekend approached, with all the craziness of the week before and how I was feeling physically, I just didn't have the umph to make it happen. And even the Friday night before, I fell asleep on the couch before my bed time because I just didn't feel good. I had a cough and sore throat and drainage. So I thought to myself "Its no big deal if I don't do the 5K."  But there is this whole thing about FOLLOWING THROUGH and doing what you you said you were going to do.  So around 11:30pm I got up and set out my 5K clothes and shoes.  I was ready and there was no excuse now.  I got up around 7:30am and left the house by 8am to go and register and be ready for the 8:30am start time.  I saw the group of ladies who work out in the mornings at the highschool gym. I think there is a group of 10 of them.  I saw an old neighbor. I saw the older lady who I think walks in every 5K she can.  She is a demon speed walker- seriously, she walks faster than I can run/walk/jog.  I remember seeing her last  year at the 5K and then saw her at the Maple Festival 5K.  She's amazing and I went up to her and told her so.  It meant alot to her and we both gave best wishes for the race to eachother. 

I was alone at this 5K which was fine. I told myself it was going to be like any other day when I go out and walk/jog.  The course was well marked. The weather was warm and muggy and sunny but tolerable.  And really, the course was quite pretty.  Some on the paved roads and some on dirt roads.  It was when I got to 2 miles that my right ankle sorta gave out and I felt like I twisted it.  I couldn't jog/run anymore.  I had to walk because it hurt. Two ladies walking behind me passed me and asked if I was ok. I told them that if they didn't see me cross the finish line, to send someone to pick me up. And off they went.  I thought to myself that I had to keep up with them.  They were really walking fast.  So at that point I knew that I wasn't going to be setting any personal best record, it was all about FINISHING it and FOLLOWING THROUGH.  And as I finally got onto the track to finish the race, a few ladies really cheered me on and ran with me when I finished it.  My hubby and kids came too to see me finish. I was so glad that they came out.  Little Jaelle said "Mommy you run!"  Jaelle then started running and said "I run!"  It was very cute and probably helped me to feel betterbut in all honesty...........

I CANNOT LIE.....I am going to be totally honest and tell you how I felt after my 5K Saturday morning. I didn't feel that runner's high or this great acheivment.  I didn't feel like I was so amazing.  In fact, after I was in the truck with the family and we were driving to Home Depot to get some things for the house, I totally let it slip out loud to Cornelius how I felt.  I told him this:
"You know what?  I really don't like doing 5Ks.  And I don't do them because they make me feel good. In fact, I am always depressed after I do one.  I don't get that runners high or feel all happy.  What I feel or think is "Wow.  How did I let myself get this bad that I can't hardly run?"  I feel like I see the reality of how bad my health has gotten from neglect and just accepting my being overweight."

So there it is. I said it.  I am not going to tell you that I had all these fuzzy warm feelings after I completed my 5K on Saturday. I'm not going to tell you that I felt great.  I'm going to tell you that the reason I choose to do 5Ks is so that I can keep in front of me the reality of my fitness and health.  Now, did I feel like I am stronger and have more endurance? You betcha!  Is there noteable difference in my overall  health?  Yes!  I noticed just the other day coming up the stairs that I wasn't winded or felt like it was a long way up.  I used to feel that way.  AND, after the 5K, I didn't go out and eat bad food. I had a protein shake and ate a grilled chicken wrap which is a big victory. Noramlly I would feel like I need to "reward myself" with junk food for working so hard.  And that afternoon when I got home, I weeded our garden for like 2 hours. I was a brute!  I didn't even feel tired.  I was thirsty but not physically tired. 

Oh friends, every day is a day for me to commit to the Lord. Every day is a day to seek His strength and His peace of mind as I walk this journey.  Some days are easier than others. Some days seem really awesome.  And some days are just blah. I want to always be positive and uplifting but that wouldn't be right of me because I would be faking it and lying - because some days are plain hard. 
Today is a day that I turn to this scripture:

Hebrews 4:14-16 MSG

 Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.

During the 5K Saturday, on my GPS/Mapmyrun, when I hit 3.1 miles I was at 43 minutes and some seconds.  But the course wasn't over and so I ended up taking alot longer and my time wasn't anything to boast about.  It was quite discouraging to be frank. And honestly, I could have finished better if I hadn't had twisted my ankle or was coughing up a lung with my cold. My time seriously could have been better. But I can't live with "could have or should haves".  I have to accept the reality of this run and move on. 
And it does make me move on. I want to be able to run a 30 minute 5K....it almost seems impossible sometimes. But if I work at it and I accept God's help, and allow Him to strengthen me emotionally, mentally and spiritually, then I know that I can reach that goal with His help. He's been through all testings and it experienced it all- so why can't He help me with this?

I keep pressing on.  I promise to keep being honest with myself and my heart, even if it is painful. And I'm so thankful for a merciful and gracious Heavenly Father who helps me in my weakness.  Amen.

http://vestaburg5k.weebly.com/results.html

I'm Just Like You

So yesterday I was feeling pretty good about myself. I had a great start to my day. Becca took a picture of me before I left for work and said "Mom, you're getting smaller." :)

Slowly but surely I'm losing- the scale doesn't say pounds but I'm losing inches. I'm shrinking in a good way.

I always look forward to working out with Julia and then I got this text:

"I can't meet today. You are going to have to tear it up without me. My little birdy is spreading her wings! Leg day. Yah! Those haven't changed so you should be golden."

And that was it. I had to read it like 2 or 3 times before I realized that I was her little birdy spreading my wings on my own- going to the gym ON MY FLIPPIN' OWN!  Was she crazy?! I wasn't ready for that. 

And then my immediate response:

"Ok, I know I can do it! We haven't changed up the leg stuff and if I forget I might text you. :) I'll let you know how it goes!"

And that was it.  I went and I did it. I forgot how to do one of the machines and asked a young guy to help me. Everyone is super nice. We're all working towards that goal and it involves our body and health. Mine goes a little deeper- I want to LIVE and be obedient to Christ in my body. 

Here is a freaked out pic I took at the gym before I started working out. I was excited and nervous to be alone in a gym with like skinny fit people.

And in the same day I got a really neat private facebook message that I need to share because it really touched me.

PRIVATE MESSAGE:

Cherri! Your progress is awesome! You look amazing! I always start with the best intentions and can never stay motivated. You are very wise to choose someone to help keep you motivated. I hope I can get myself in gear and do what you are doing. I always blame it on not having anyone to help me stay motivated and to work out with. But if I am honest with myself, it is all uo to me! Anyway, I am impressed with how well you are doing and hope to use your progress as an inspiration!

MY RESPONSE:

oh thank you so much _____! I've really had to fight to keep at it cause my results have been so minimal- and when you see Biggest Loser, people lose so fast. But in reality, when you work, have kids and do life in general, you have to make it work and fit in for you. I had some serious health issues and am finally on the mend it seems. And I honestly haven't lost much weight. I've stayed the same for 2 months now but see more inches lost since I started weight training.....one tip- just keep at it. Believe that you have the strength to do it and don't give up. Even when you splurge one day, start fresh again. Its always about each day being a new day and a new opportunity.  I totally believe that having a buddy or support group or workout buddy makes it easier because of accountability. I honestly AM JUST LIKE YOU- no better! Just keep at it and slowly but surely you'll see progress. Every victory counts, even if its you can jog for 3 minutes without stopping or you didn't drink pop but once this week. So count every victory cause it encourages you :) And of course my last tip, I really have prayed and asked God to help me because I've needed that 'supernatural' strength from Him. This fall I'm looking to do a women's Bible study called Made to Crave. It is awesome and life changing. would you be interested in joining me and a few women on this study? Think about it and let me know.

And that's it folks- I'm just like you on this journey.  In fact, I'm sorta emotional, overly sensitive and let it all hang out there for everyone to see. LOL!  I put this verse on my facebook page today...

"Have not I commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9 NASB

Sometimes I get afraid that I will fail and everyone will see- and I have let that go.  That is fear. That is condemnation. And God isn't about those things. He loves me and His love drives out that fear. He doesn't condemn me and accepts me where I'm at and helps me to get past and through my junk. God wants to see me succeed.  I just have to GET UP AND BE ABOUT DOING HIS BUSINESS and He is there. He is has enabled me to be strong and courageous.  I feel like I need to be courageous cause its hard sometimes, real hard.

Never Give Up!

This was posted and I stole it because it's a good reminder. Don't give up- don't stay where you are. Take steps every day.

July 1-13th Pictures

July has been a super busy month so far!!  Here are a few pics from the beginning of the month.

July 3rd in the evening, we were at Gina and Freddy's new home on Loon Lake. There was a fire truck engine getting ready for the 4rth of July parade. They were going around the lake giving rides to kids/families who wanted an actual ride! 

Inside the fire engine.  Sawyer, Freddy's nephew visited for a few days and got in on the 4rth of July Festivities.

My mom got this adorable outfit for Jaelle and it was perfect for the 4rth of July with its red, white and blue color scheme.  Jaelle hears the parade coming and looks back.

Sitting proudly holding her candy bag waiting for candy to be thrown.  She didn't sit long!

Here Jaelle is totally getting into collecting the candy part of the parade. Abby had to help and keep tabs on her because Jaelle is fearless and would just run out in the street to snatch up the candy.  Abby and Becca never did that when I took them to parades at this age. They were to scared or shy!

This picture is fuzzy but I love Jaelle's happy sweet smile. She loves her cousin Seth.

My 3 precious girls at the 4rth of July Crystal Lake parade

the girls with their uncle Freddy and cousins

Our church participates in the Crystal Lake Parade every year distributing 4000 water bottles!! 

You can see Cornelius' head in this picture- he ran around the whole lake giving out water bottles.  Its a major thing to do because even some teenagers couldn't keep up or do the whole lake.  Pretty good for my old man!

Picture of me with my beautiful girls after the parade and the street cleared.

All whole gang of us went to Gina's house on Loon lake after the parade for a big picnic.  Cornelius took Abby and Jaelle for a canoe ride.

And the fun before the fireworks.  Sparkler sisters

Crazy Abby!

July 5th we went to Michigan Adventures with my friend Tasha from work.  We left Jaelle behind and had a really fabulous crazy fun time.  We left at 8:30am and didn't get home until 11:30pm.  We stayed the whole day at the park and had a blast!!  I think we might make this a tradition to go every year with Tasha. :)

Monday, July 8th, Abby went to The Springs camp in Gladwin for her first time at a week long camp.  It was exciting and scary to leave her. But I was looking forward to a special week of growth and fun. 

Abby with her "fabulous friends" that went to camp.  We call them the Fab Five- Abby, Philena, Hannah, Brianna and Kylie.

Abby and Philena were in a cabin together

Just fun sister time in a box.  Jaelle has special big sisters that do fun things with her.

As you can see, Jaelle is the driver and in control.

This was Jaelle's box now and she didn't want any visitors inside- hence the grouchy face.

Rock picking- Jaelle likes finding rocks in the yard.

And the link below is a little video taken at the Rock on the Hilltop concert in Belding MI of our worsip band. It in no way shows the quality of our band and is just a little clip from a cell phone recording.  We actually were requested to do another concert at an addictions group and share our testimonies. Looks like we're booked for a Tuesday in September.  That is the heart of our band- to worship and praise God and encourage others to seek Him and experience God's love and healing for their life.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=594553970588660&l=8733242124997858680

And finally our family pictures were taken Sunday night the 14th.  

I'll make sure to post the last half of our family pics the end of this month so stay posted!!

Price Tag on Health

I posted this on facebook today:

"Many of you have asked about my weight loss and what I'm doing. In all honesty, I have lost little weight but more inches. I really started noticing a difference when I added weight training and these Advocare products into the mix. I feel more stamina, strength, energy and I could go on! Anyway, I'd love to talk more to you about it if you're interested about the stuff I'm using and I have a great friend Julia Huffman Raglin who has really taken me to this next step in my health. Thanks Julia!!"

Then I got a private facebook message stating I must be spending a ton.  This was my response:

"Someone messaged me and told me I must be spending a fortune. WRONG!! First of all, I can't put a price tag on health. Most of you who have been following my blog know how much I've struggled with my health. And when you find something that is working and seeing results, well, the price is minimal in comparison to how I feel, what I do and the effects it has on your personal life and family!! If you want exact prices, message me!"

I started to thinking about what people spend money on or splurge on.  When you are an unhealthy person you spend alot on junk food, eating out, clothes that you are outgrowing, shoes, make-up, jewelry- things to help make you feel better. I have found that my spending has shifted to spending on good food, vitamins, suppliments and that has in turn made me spend less in clothes (because I'm not outgrowing- I'm shrinking but my mom has given me clothes that fit me where I'm at now). I spend less in make-up because my skin is doing so much better because I'm healthier.  I don't buy the jewelry I was because I feel happy with what I have. 

I guess I'm writing this because I can't put a price on my health.  From what I was feeling like just 3 months ago, its been a complete turn around. When you go from feeling so tired, depressed, weak and super emotional to feeling awake, alive, happy, strong and motivated- well, YOU CAN'T PUT A PRICE TAG ON IT!

So I know that as time goes on, things might change a little in what I do to keep myself healthy. 

Here is a few verses from the past couple of days:

"But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn that shines brighter and brighter until the full day."

 Proverbs 4:18 NASB

 (that chapter is about seeking wisdom- I'm seeking God's wisdom and strength about my health every day)

"And when we obey him, every path he guides us on is fragrant with his loving kindness and his truth."

Psalm 25:10 TLB

And I really do want to obey Him and this journey I'm on with my health.I am finding that he gives me what I need daily to stay steadfast in making good choices.  I feel a peace as I take each step forward.

A dear friend wrote this on my facebook page yesterday:

Always concentrate on how far you have come, rather than how far you have left to go. The difference in how easy it seems will amaze you.
— Heidi Johnson

This picture was taken Sunday night July 14th.  You would never guess that my 2 year old was a little monster for probably 98% of the time during our family photo session! Trisha from T Photography was amazing and handled my difficult 2  year old so well!

My mom gave me this bright shirt- it goes with my happy bright smile someone told me :) 

I have so much more to post regarding the kids and family and life in general but its been SO BUSY.....and someone reading my blog might think that I don't ever write about my kids and hubby- sorry!!  My family is such a vital and core part of who I am.  I promise to include more pics of the kids from this month in the days to come.