Daily Victories with Each Step

So things have been going smoothly with my food and I see new victories every day with each step I take.  At first they seem small but every small step is a big step towards victory.

Yesterday on May 9th, I was able to sit with a friend eating pizza during lunch and then icecream for a snack later and not drool OR be depressed.  I was able to enjoy my healthy lunch and my soy yogart snack.  It was huge!!  I can't tell you how I felt.  I felt so proud of myself.  But more importantly, food didn't have this grip on me.  After lunch I had a bad sweet tooth and I was going to drink some coffee with sugar to help curb it but then opted on drinking green tea with no sugar.  I satisfied my thirst and just being able to sip that tea took the urge to eat sugar.  ANOTHER VICTORY!

In the evening we went for our walk/jog.  I went 3.11 miles in 50 minutes and 29 seconds.  My best time YET!!  The last time I went when I thought I went 3.2 miles was incorrect.  My app wasn't working and so we weren't able to really gage the right mileage.  So that discouraged me a little.  But after last night, again, I felt like a step in the right direction.

In my reading last night in "Made to Crave" there were so many good nuggets.  Too many to write down in this blog but there was something that I realized about myself.  There was a paragraphs about what Lysa did when she felt she didn't measure up.  So the chapter ended with a question: When she felt like she didn't measure up, Lysa says she kicked into withdrawal mode or fix-it mode.  What mode do you kick into when you feel like you don't measure up? 

• And I sat back and thought and I knew exactly what I did;  I rant and rave, I nag, and I get a real critical spirit towards my husband and children. I'm selfish and focused on it's all about me and what I want.

Lysa says this in her book on pg. 69
"Like many women, I'd struggled with a flawed perception of myself.  My sense of identity and worth were dependent on wrong things- my circumstances or my weight or whether I yelled at the kids that day or what other people thought of me.  If I sensed I wasn't measuring up, I kicked into either withdrawal mode or fix-it mode.  Withdrawal mode made me pull back from relationships, fearing others' judgments.  I built walls around my heart to keep people at a distance.  Fix-it mode made me overanalyze other people's every word and expression looking for ways to manipulate their opinions to be more pleasing towards me. ....both of these are crazy modes to be in."

Yesterday I noticed when I felt insecure and like I was failing or not measuring up, I got whiney and cranky and just criticized everything Cornelius did.  And it was so awful and ugly.  The girls were in bed and here Cornelius was helping me clean the house.  He had just spent the day making me healthy granola bars, a wonderful supper (the picture below) and walking with me.  All this in one day and I was complaining because the house was messy and why didn't he do laundry and why did it look like the way it did when I left this morning.  And when I thought about it later, I was embarrassed by my words and actions.  Its amazing Cornelius did yell at me back and tell me the truth - "You really are selfish and mean!"

But after my reading last night I realized what I do when I get insecure, instead of being compassionate and sensitive to my family and their needs, I get mean, critical, impatient and nag.......oh.

BUT, I see it now and can make ask God to help me be victorious in this area of my life too.  And I never would have realized it had I not been on this journey! 

And finally another important lesson from the book:  Diligently fill your heart and mind with God's truths during this journey and these truths will protect me.  Its vital to make His truth the foundation not only for our identity but how we deal with food. 

And I leave you with these words from "MADE TO CRAVE" because they nuggets of treasure:

• The Holy Spirit uses God's words stored up inside us to nudge us, to remind us, redirect us, empower us, and lead us on to victory. 
• If you dedicate this journey to God, He promises the Holy Spirit will be with you every step of the way. 
• And that means you have access to a power beyond what you can muster up on your own.



And here's the beautiful meal Cornelius made for me.  Baked Sweet Potato fries, steamed zuchinni, and Stuffed Pepper with Turkey Burger.  SO YUMMY and healthy. :)


I LOVE YOU CORNELIUS AND HOW YOU LOVE AND TAKE CARE OF ME IS AMAZING.  YOU SHOW MY CHRIST'S LOVE DAILY and I'M TRULY THANKFUL AND BLESSED.