Craving

1 John 2:15-17
Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you.  For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world.  And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave.  But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.

This was apart of my Bible reading last night.  For some reason, this verse really stuck out to me- maybe because it said the word, "CRAVE" and I right away thought about food and the struggle with cravings.

But then I looked at it deeper and I see "craving for physical pleasure...craving for everything we see"...and "pride in our achievements and possessions.....these are not from the Father"

I crave things.  I crave things not because they will honor God and my desire to follow and love Him.  But because its about me- and what I want.  I recognize this in me and want to rid myself of this selfish craving.

When I was walking last night, I had some amazing moments.  I was listening to worship music and I had this exhilaration and feeling that I could just run.  I felt God there with me, His Holy Spirit driving me.  I want to be skinny and beautiful, just like any girl dreams and wishes.  But more than anything, I want to be free.  Free from the control that food and obesity has on me.  I could feel and sense it coming off me.  I could sense the chains of that bondage coming off and the freedom.....it felt amazing.  It felt like I was flying with God.  That there was no limit to what I could do with God and His Spirit in me.  God has given me authority to take control of my life, and the cravings that I have.  He has blessed me with this freedom to be free to choose.  I want to choose to crave Him and His kingdom.  To crave His Spirit and to be sensitive and obedient to His direction and leading in my life.  And in turn, because I do what pleases God, I WILL LIVE FOREVER!! 

That feeling of freedom felt better and tasted better than any food I've tasted....I can't explain it.  It was satisfying and fulfilling in a way that food can't.  Truly, only God can fulfill me and not food or any cravings for worldly possession, recognition, or physical pleasure.  Those things are temporal, but His life and freedom in the Spirit- that is what I want.

I wish I could bottle that feeling yesterday- I wanted to cry.  But it was happy tears because I'm doing it!!  I'm choosing to take control with the authority He has given me to have dominion over my life, through His Spirit and strength. 

Yesterday I walked 3.02 miles in 52 minutes and 59 seconds.  I'm really close to hitting 3 miles in 45 minutes.  I'm going to do it and I know it- because nothing is impossible for God and that Spirit of God lives in me.  And how can I say that I can't do it?!  How can I put boundaries on what God can do in and through me?  Who am I to say that I'm weak, a failure, or defeated?  No, I am more than a conqueror in Christ and I press on towards that goal and prize.

I see the finish line and soon I'll be waving a flag of TOTAL victory from the bondage of food.  Keep praying and cheering for me from the stands, because I hear it, I need it and I want to remain steadfast to show others and myself how GOOD GOD IS!! Amen.