But, today is not that day. Today I'm sharing a picture that my friend Julia sent me privately on facebook and this picture says it all to me right now. Most the time you want to be private and not share or talk about things you're going through that are difficult or hard. But for some reason, this journey with my health and weight loss has been different. I am not afraid to share the details. The times I cry. The moments I have felt ashamed or defeated or even depressed. I think its because when you've been bound by something so long, and realize that it has crippled or bound you, then you want to be rid of it. It's almost freeing in fact. Its like I have been in prison, and all of a sudden I'm out. I'm free. Now what? I can either go on with life and do the right thing or choose the things in life that put me in prison. So has my being overweight been like a prison? In some ways yes! I was bound by lies that kept me thinking it was ok for me to be overweight. That I would always be fat. That I wasn't able to lose the weight. That my being fat was my lot in life. That eating food should be pleasurable. That its meant to fulfill me and make me feel better.
And those lies lead me to feeling weak, defeated, extremely insecure, depressed and literally physically ill. The more weight I put on, the more struggles with my insulin sugar levels in my body and with my organs such as my heart and kidneys. Emotionally I was bound by my emotions that kept me from being who God wants me to be- a whole individual who realizes that I am strong and that God has given me the ability to do things I never thought I could do!
So here I am today, looking at this picture and thinking "I'm doing it! I'm actually making visible progress!" Sometimes when you see yourself every day and because you're your worst critic, you don't or can't see the progress. And I thank God for my friend Julia who gives me concrete evidence with pictures or with inches lost and increased reps or increased pounds on my weight training. Those are measurable things that show me that I'm on the right track.
Sometimes I feel vain focusing in on my weight and on my health all the time. But that is where I'm at and where God is teaching my simple things that truly matter.
Here are a few little simple things I've learned on this journey:
(these are things I've learned personally and are not necessarily for everyone else to learn!)
1. Just start- start exercising and eating right and don't stop.
2. Find someone to walk along side of you during your health journey. You're going to need someone to push you. Someone to encourage you and someone to tell you you're on track. That buddy is someone you can totally be vulnerable with and not hold anything back.
3. You can't do this alone. God didn't intend for us to be lone rangers. We are called to live in community, to bear each others burdens and to spur each other on towards good deeds that honor God.
4. When you think you're hungry, drink some water. Many times I've found that I was not hungry but just thirsty.
5. Food is not for entertainment purposes or for making me feel better. Food was made to fuel my body. Now food can be a method in which I can entertain and show hospitality. But foods sole purpose is to nourish my body and keep me strong for God's work and purpose while I live on this earth.
6. Don't starve yourself! I've have found that eating too few calories can actually harm you and not do good. That isn't a license to go and eat whatever. But to make sure I eat calories that are full of nutrients and that actually fill me up. "Empty calories" is what makes me crave and want to eat more. Empty calories are foods that are low calorie but not really nutritious or filling.
7. I am stronger than what I realize. Its so easy to be bound by my insecurity and false opinion/image of myself. It has taken people in my life to show me that I am those wrong feelings and images of myself control what I can really do.
8. The truth shall set you free!! (truth about food, truth about health, truth about who I am in Christ Jesus- I could do a whole blog on this topic)
9. True beauty is within - and it is, but your health is within and will radiate if you take care of yourself.
10. I'm still learning to love myself and believe in myself....its like a constant battle. This battle of the mind which God talks about in the Bible.
11. Find someone who knows more than you about what you're learning about and submit to their teaching. I have found that its hard for people to admit that they don't know it all. Or that they are wrong. They want to hold on to what they think is right. Well guess what buttercup? You're not always right and it takes a strong person to admit that what you're doing isn't working. When you come to an end of yourself, you'll lay down your pride, let someone in and let them scrutinize and analyze and work on you, that's when great things can happen in your life. That's how we need to be with God too!
12. I can not imagine doing this without God. Because there have been times that my will power or own strength is not enough or strong enough, but His power can be revealed through me when I come to Him. His Spirit enables me to keep doing this. Its hard for us physical beings to understand this. But its His Spirit in us that gives life and strength and direction. Without His Spirit, whom we receive when we believe and follow Him, that will enable me to do above what I can imagine. All this is another topic that I could blog on too!
13.....seems like I'm forgetting something. I'm sure I'll think or remember more when I'm done with this blog tonight. What's so wonderful is that its ok if I haven't written down what all I think I've learned. Because I'm continually learning!!!
Oh dear friends, let us not give up hope. And I'm saying this to myself because I so easily can lose hope or feel discouraged. Instead I want to choose a heart full of hope and assurance that I am in His grip and that God has me and will give me all that I need TO DO THIS and to remain steadfast. And not only steadfast, but with a grateful and thankful heart full of praises for all that He's doing in my life.
My Prayer
Thank you God for saving my life! Not only my soul, but my physical body too. May my life be a testament of You living in me. Shine Jesus in me so that all may see that God is real and that His love and plan for my life is bigger and better than what I have in mind. This is just the beginning of more journeys and life lessons and I want to anticipate with joy all that is yet to come. I'm thankful that You have blessed me and given me treasures in my family and in the gifts you've given me to use on earth. I love you and pray these things in your name, Amen.
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