Being Faithful Without Instant Rewards

Below is an email I sent Cornelius today :

I feel discouraged this morning: 

1. I feel discouraged about money. I feel like we’re doing the right things but I HATE feeling strapped and not having money to go and purchase things when I want and living by a restrictive budget.  It’s depressing. 

2.  I feel discouraged about my weight. People told me Sunday it looks like I’m losing weight- but I weighed myself and I honestly think I gained 4 pounds!!  Then I told myself I wouldn’t weigh myself until a month later which would be April 7^th.  And I really am trying and it seems like I’m not losing fast enough. 

It feels like I’m doing the right things and not getting the results.  And I am all about having results or having rewards.  That motivates me. Its hard to do good things with no rewards- I’m whining. L

So then I read this verse:

"Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see how good God is. Blessed are you who run to him. Worship God if you want the best; worship opens doors to all his goodness." Psalm 34:8-9 MSG

I know God is good and faithful.  That He gives me all that I need and that He provides a way out when I am tempted. I know that He has blessed me......"I know and I know".....but its so easy to focus on what I'm not getting. 

Worshiping God is about being connected to him in heartfelt relationship and allowing Him to live fully in me and overflow His love and goodness into my life.  Its not about getting what I want when I want it.

And probably the most difficult for me is this:  BEING FAITHFUL TO WHAT I KNOW IS RIGHT, EVEN IF I DON'T GET WHAT I WANT. 
Its hard to be faithful, disciplined, self controlled in what you eat when you don't see instant results. 

We live in a instant gratification society and world.  Why wait?  Get what you want now with no work.  Or if you want that car, just go purchase it and get a loan. Or put it on your credit card or "I'll worry about watching what I eat tomorrow."  Or, "I'm overweight so I should look into meds or surgery"

So these are the things we're working at in my house and I'm not seeing instant results:
1. we are saving money and paying on old bills that we just let sit. And boy does it get old when you work really hard and see your check instantly gone to bills and savings.   THE POSITIVE UP to this is that we're saving $500/month right now.  How cool is that!
2. I'm working hard to count calories, keep track of making healthy choices and exercising a minimum of 3 days per week.  And the weight still just seems to cling to me!!!  THE POSITIVE UP to this is that I can tell that I have more stamina in my Insanity work outs.  I'm doing more reps.  I'm getting stronger and building my endurance.

So Lord, here I am. Your child who wants to live right, be healthy, and be a temple of your Holy Spirit. I want to encourage others to live their life with joy and see Your blessings.  But God, today I ask that you forgive my impatience. And I see how much I need YOU- I need you to be all that I need.  That I would remain steadfast and thankful for your faithfulness and not focused on my agenda or on what I want.  Let it be what You want Lord. Let this be from my heart and not just words. I pray this in Jesus Name, Amen.