Very Sick Jaelle

 

Sunday March 3, 2013 will forever be etched in my mind as a day that I will never forget. Jaelle had a seizure and was then admitted to stay at Gratiot Medical center.  Seeing your child turn stiff, contorted, drooling, grey in color, blue in the lips and then lifeless after the seizure- you as a parent are helpless.  You can only plead for God to spare your child and help you.  Cornelius was so calm, peaceful and was my assurance that she was going to be alright.  He had just finished first aide training a few weeks ago for work and was able to put into practice what he had learned.  These are the pictures from right before the seizure to after the seizure at at the hospital.  The doctor told us that it was unpreventable. The seizure was a result of the fever rising too quickly.  She was admitted to the hospital dehydrated, double ear infection, fever of 104, low white blood cell count and a rash as a result of the virus.  My poor child just was having a very difficult time fighting off the virus. She was just very sick.  And this was the weekend I was supposed to be gone at a women's retreat.  I remember thinking to myself that the only way I would miss the women's retreat is if I got sick with the stomach flu.  Well, it happened. I got sick. And I remember thinking "God, there is a reason that I'm sick and missing the retreat."  If I had gone, I wouldn't have been home when Jaelle had her seizure.  God knew this, and knew that Jaelle needed her mommy to be home and take care of her at the hosptial.  God knows all things and when things happen that just don't seem to make sense or don't seem to fit our agenda, well, guess what? God knows best and they fit His agenda/plan. I'm so glad that God interrupted my plans to make sure that I was where I was supposed to be! 

 

Your children are a precious gift, a treasure from God. Your time with them is only known by God. How important it is to invest in them and impart His love and presence and power in their lives.

 

 

Sunday morning at 11:30am. She was out cold and feeling not good at all. Cornelius and the girls went to church, the potluck and Easter Drama Practice. I stayed home with Jaelle because she had a fever.

 

We watched a Kid's Worship Video for our spiritual food that sunday morning. Can you see the top of Jaelle's head?

Before she fell asleep she looked at me and said "Mommy hold me..I sick"

 

 

Mommy and Jaelle

Look at those sweet eyes and I love that she sucks her thumb.

At the ER at Gratiot Medical Center after the seizure.

Her arm all wrapped up to protect the IV that took 5 pokes an over an hour to get put in.

Sleeping peacefully at the hospital.  She slept so much.  Her body was just wiped out!

Playtime in bed

Walking the halls.  Actually, acidentally her IV cord had seperated and she was walking away from me and her IV fluid bag!  We found that pink baby stroller in the play room. And we walked round and round the halls with that thing with her baby doll in tote.

Grandma came to visit Jaelle in the hospital.

Pastor Stephen and Chris Shebester came while Jaelle was napping with a bag of goodies-books and this little horse teddy was her favorite. She just loved it.

Isn't she just adorable? Just love this sweet picture. She was finally starting to feel a little better.

They released us Monday night at 9pm from the hospital.  Her white cell count was up and she hadn't had a fever on Monday while there. So we asked to go home and they doctor let us. 

 

We're home and mending.  Each day getting stronger.  What have I learned from this experience?  That our children are just on loan from God...they are His gift to us and we are to love them and rear them in the way that Christ would want us to. 

" God, give me the grace, strength and wisdom to mother this gift. I thank you that you are with me always and that you will never forsake me or my children.  I pray this in Jesus Name, Amen."

Faith and Facts before Feelings

So after my emotional evening and blog the other night, my sister-n- law texted me this yesterday:
Cherri.  You are loved. You are beautiful. You are being used by God to bless others. Remember what Rod Friesen used to say? Put facts and faith before feelings.

Thank you Sarah. :)

And then last night Cornelis says the cutest thing:
"I wish I could take your lips and put them in my pocket."  That was said to me after he kissed me. :)

It's a winter wonderland this morning. About 12 inches of snow has fallen. So beautiful and peaceful.....and I'm here at work.  Thankful that Gina is with my kids today. I know they will have fun :)

Happy Friday everyone!!

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."
 Isaiah 55:8-9

The Sign

They made a new sign outside of Cornelius' work. He's so proud to have his name on that sign. I couldn't be happier for him. Cornelius is really enjoying his new job and there is so much opportunity for growth and advancement. And the classes that he is taking online are going very well for him too.  Just a little visual reminder of God's faithfulness to our family and His provision.

whirlwind of emotions

Sitting alone at home in the recliner with the laptop. Thankful for WiFi and how I can sit and type anywhere in my home. Drinking coffee late at night....hmmm, just feeling a little down tonight and not sure why. I feel a heaviness in my heart.
Since my trip to FL I have experienced a whirlwind of things. Many and most at work. Huge misunderstanding with my boss who no longer is there and is on a project in Lansing. What I learned from it is that sometimes people can be so quick to judge you. And then because I am so emotional and can't imagine someone thinking I'm dishonest or wrong, well, just sent me in a tizzy. I had a bad confrontation and in one day I decide to get out of that office. And after several weeks of speaking with the other managers and getting things out in the open, well, I feel more at peace. I think that I have the kind of heart and personality that can easily take offense. I don't want to become emotionless or not care what people think, but I need to learn to guard my heart and emotions.
And I feel like I fail in so many areas and worry about so many things that I fall short in. 
1. My weight. I have let it creep up again. I was being so good. So disciplined. And here I am. 10 pounds heavier. All because of the holidays and careless mindless eating and not exercise. I know what steps I need to take. But it always comes down to my emotional eating and craving. What do I crave? God or food that doesn't satisfy and just adds to my sadness.
2. I feel like I don't put my home as a priority. I try so hard to be a good working mother. When I get home I love on Jaelle and we eat supper as a family. I do dishes or try to do a little clean up.  The girls do homework and then we have our nightly devotionals. Which, by the way has been going so well. However, I see litle things like with Becca's attitude or that Jaelle is potty trained and I know she could be if I were home to work on it and that Abby isn't practicing piano like she should. Oh, if only I were the stay-at-home mom who had time to manage my home and kids better. But I'm working. So then I feel discouraged like I failed somehow.
3. I feel disheartened about Cornelius and me- seems like we live in the same house lately but are not connecting heartwise. Not that he doesn't love me or care or provide. But my heart language is communication/words of affirmation and I think gifts. All things that Cornelius just does not care about or really care to work at.  Its just not him. And I knew this when I married the man. So then I think "well, maybe God had me marry Cornelius to keep me simple, humble and patient." But I don't feel any of those. I feel frustrated, angry and resentful.  Not good. So many people tell me "Be thankful Cherri. He's a wonderful man." And HE IS....but why not want more for our marriage. Why not strive and work on perfecting and growing our marriage and relationship?

Not sure what else I could write. And in a way, this is dangerous to write so freely about these feelings of mine, especially on a domain where others can read it. But isn't this about being real? I don't want to pain this picture perfect family. We are growing and working together, and oh do we have a beautiful family. But beautiful families can need some tender loving care. And I'd love to have some counselor guru come in and give me and Cornelius advice. Someone to speak into our lives, into our marriage and it cut right to the heart. Right now I feel like a nag, a sore spot and a frustration to Cornelius and he doesn't really ever voice is opinion or feelings to me. I think because he knows I might voice my opinion back and he's not sure he wants to hear it. :)  Oh, the joys of marriage and family!

So here I am feeling like I'm in my little pitty party and I don't like it. It shouldn't be about me. But it should be the truth and how I feel right now. And right now, I feel tired and disappointed in me and my life. Am I missing the mark God? Am I just drifting through and not being intentional?  Is there more.?

Friday I speak to a group of girls from our church.  The theme of the weekend is "True Love Waits". Have some good material and thoughts aobut our value being in Christ and when we know who we are in Christ, we are able to make the right choices to remain pure until marriage. Sunday I lead worship. Next week is Valentine's. Going to a church Valentine's Dinner at Maxfield's the 16th. And then the 22nd our Worship team is doing a Concert to raise funds for a mission trip to Gautamala called "Hearts for Guatamala".  Should be a good concert. Our focus is presenting songs that encourage us to be His hands and feet to the world and those around us.

Feels like a busy time. Many people around us hurting and going through their own family trials. God, you still rain and still have good things for those who love you.

Oh and one more thing. Mom has tests next week for some issues she's having with her kidneys.  Once we know more I will write more.

Good night.....may His presence, peace and joy fill my heart tonight so that I can be radiant beam for His glory and not mine. Amen.

Mother Daugther Florida Trip 2013

So I took a last minute trip to Orlando Florida with just my mom January 17th-22nd. It was an amazing trip for so many reasons:
1. We were able to completely relax. We stayed at our friends Cheryl and Fred Engles Vacation home with a heated underfound pool. Pool temps were 88 and 89 degrees.
2. No work, no stress, just late nights chatting, praying, snacking and enjoying eachother's company. We spent 2 nights at some of the parks in Disney but mostly were real leisurely about our time and schedule.
3. Enjoyed Epcot fireworks and rides and took in the Lion King show at Animal Kingdom on Friday the 18th. That was a crazy busy day but so fun! Our last day there we went to Downtown Disney and road the boat down the river and visited a few of the resorts. That was a late night and a fun time shopping.
4. And finally, I have never taken a trip with just my mom before. It was just so wonderful to be able to be with my mom and have her all to myself. She's one of those people that is so easy to spend time with and have fun. She's relaxed, funny, serious, loving, spiritually uplifting and sensitive and just plain beautiful inside and out. I'm so proud to call her my mom.

Here are some pictures from our little Mother Daughter Vacation.

MY MOST FAVORITE PICTURE FROM THE TRIP- Me and Mom

 

 

 

Probably one of the favorite pics I took that weekend. My mom was just laughing like a little kid- priceless.  Loved being able to offer this trip to my mom as a gift for all she's done and given to me in my life.

 

I LOVE YOU MOM! 

Email to my Sister in Laws and Irene dated 1/16/13

I'm on my lunch and thought while I was eating my soup that I would send a quick email.  An email telling you that I love you all and was thinking about you.  Praying you are well, happy and that God is speaking to your hearts and encouraging you.

My verse this morning is "No wonder we are happy in the Lord! For we are trusting in Him. We trust his holy name. Yes, Lord, let your constant love surround us, for our hopes are in your alone." Psalm 33:21-22 TLB

http://thebornmanmelody.blogspot.com/
I wrote a few new blogs this January. I never get enough time to write all the details of my heart and life. I just love writing though- almost as much as I love making music. :)  One thing that has truly delighted my heart and brought such renewed "purpose" in my heart has been my Bible reading and devotional at each end of the night with Abby and Becca.  I really need to be honest that I was not consistent with it. It was sporadic during the week. It wasn't that I wasn't teaching, or telling or praying or never reading the Bible with the girls, but that it wasn't disciplined. It was when I could fit it in during the week.  I felt a conviction to truly invest in the greatest treasures God has given me on earth- my children. And then He told me to give them the greatest treasure I have- His Word and His love.
Now we can't wait for that time at night and Abby and Becca seem to have flourished during our Bible reading/devotional/Girl Gab. :)  I'm using a mother daughter devotional written by Dannah Gresh. Abby told me her favorite part of our night is the "girl gab" where basically I share parts of my life that apply to the BIble reading or devotional. Where it was lived out.  We have also learned and been practicing "meditation or meditating" on God's Word and in prayer and what it really means and looks like.  So far that has been one of my most favorite nights and Bible reading when we learned together what meditating on God's Word was- the world has distorted what meditating is.  

Anyway, life is good. Everyone is healthy. Cornelius is enjoying work and his classes. He's so smart and so humble.  He challenges me with his humility and servant heart.  I love that about him.  And the girls continue to do well in their studies- top of their classes.  Abby is called the "calculator" in class.  She's such a whiz at math and mathmatical concepts. Becca is plain bored in school and the teacher tries so hard to find outlets and other tests or activities that she can do. She took up drum lessons. I told her she's like her dad- she learns and picks things up so quickly but that I want her to learn to not be lazy with her gifts and abilities.  Lazy in that she doesn't really apply herself and is complacent. I want her to challenge herself and push herself.

And Jaelle- she has joined the speaking world!! She is saying little sentences now.
1. I like it mommy
2. I no like it.
3. I sorry
4. "He" naked.  *(she was looking at the little baby on the shampoo bottle!)-
5. She also says "she" which is so neat to see that she can differientiate between he and she.

And so many other things. I wish I had more time to write about our new sitter.  She is truly a God send and we have seen such a "blessing" through her being in our lives and her companionship with Jaelle.  She is young, only 20 but I would compare her heart to Laurel's and Katrina's. So pure, so beautiful, so loving and extremely intelligent. She loves children and just fits in our family. Her name is Larita. And Jaelle calls her"rita".  There is a long story of how it transpired for her to come into our lives and for our old sitter to be gone. I know that it was all God planned and that God put her in our family's life for this season.  I'll try to capture a picture of her with Jaelle and send it.

Oh and Sarah, tell Nelson thank you for his compliment of Abby- he told Sarah that Abby is growing into such a nice young lady, "like Laurel and Katrina".  That was such a high compliment. ;)

Pray for me in that I am going away for my first time without my husband and girls on a little vacation. My mom and I are staying with friends in Orlando FL for 4 days. We leave January 17th at 6pm from Grand Rapids and return the 22nd at 10:30am.  Its the longest I've been away and I feel a little anxious and excited.  We are being hosted by Cheryl and Fred Engle, friends of our family in their late 60s/early 70s.  Very Godly and wise people. We meet with Cheryl once a month for prayer and Bible reading. They own this home in FL and go there to escape the winter months in MI.  Cheryl has a heart to disciple women in His Word and God has used her in many lives.  She told me she's excited for us coming and is planning on nightly prayer times....can't wait!!

Ok, well,  I need to get back to work.  Just a few more hours and I'll be home. 

LOVE YOU ALL, wish we were all closer but knowing that God has us all in His hands.

Happy 9th Birthday Becca

Nine years ago today I was in the hospital on a very cold and wintry day such as today giving birth to my beautiful Becca! She was such a plump healthy baby that she had a fat roll between her nose and forhead! The doc told me that I had the biggest umbilical cord he had ever seen and waved it around for all the peeps in the room to see! LOL! That's probably why I only gained 15 pounds for that pregnancy and Becca weighed 9 pounds 15 ounces.

Last night while doing our Mother daughter Devotionals, we studied Joshua 1:8 about meditation. She drew a picture of herself with Jesus on the streets of gold.  She told me she wants to have wisdom- I know that God has called her to be a woman of wisdom and strength.

Becca is probably my most challenging child to parent because she's very independent, very smart and aims to challenge what I think she's unable to do or shouldn't do-

One thing that Becca decided she wanted to take up is to learn to play drums. At first I was so upset that she didn't want to continue with her piano lessons because she was so natural at it. She could pick up concepts and techniques so easily on the piano. But then I just decided that if she truly had an interest in the drums I needed to let her seek it out and not make her like what I like.  I'm so glad we've let her explore playing drums. I've seen a new side of her personality come out with playing drums. She might end up being a band chic one day. :)

Below are a few pictures from her birthday today. Cornelius made the cake with the grassy hill with horses grazing on it. Becca helped her daddy design it. ;)  And then a picture of Becca with her pink hat. She loves her pink hat. Becca loves hats and I think she looks adorable in her hat. And finally the last picture of Becca taken this past summer. She just looks so beautiful. Where has my baby gone?

 I pray you keep growing to be strong, wise and lead a new generation of women. I'm blessed to call you MINE Becca. :)