So I've really been slacking on my blogging. And I love to blog when I do it. I think its because I'm avoiding how I feel or what I'm thinking. I get that way sometimes....where I feel like there is so much going on inside that it's easier to just glide through life and not think about it too much and writing about it makes me think and "feel". I'm such an emotional person anyways and feeling things that are bubbling inside can make me feel like a shaken soda can that is about to POP! :)
Today I can say that I have been faithful to my Life Style Change. I continue to make gains in choosing obedience to Christ in being a good steward with my body. Its a daily choice and struggle sometimes to say no to frivolous eating. I do have icream or something sweet on occassion, but I've learned to do it in portions or to choose a more lighter fare. Its hard and I get that "old" thinking of "Its not fair that I have to be healthy!".....and then there was one night that I was just angry because I got to the store late because I went walking before I went to town to get a birthday gift for a friend. And the store was closed and I was like "If I wasn't so fat, and didn't need to excercise, I could have been here earlier!" And I literally threw a grumpy tantrum and said that outloud while walking back to the van....Cornelius heard it all. He got back into the van quietly and didn't say anything. On another day he told me that no matter if I was skinny/healthy, you always need to exercise and take care of your body.
Some days are easier than others and then there are "those" days. And I think, "will this battle never end?" But what can I expect? I've struggled this food battle since I was a young girl. It's going to take time and it's going to be where I daily turn to God. One thing I get worried about is not making this about being skinny- but about being right with God and healthy. That is what this has to be about for the long haul. If it's about the surface and not heart felt, its not going to stand the trials of holiday food and the trials of emotional eating.
So here is the stats for today. I am 29 pounds lighter than what I was on April 18th when I weighed in with Julia. I figure that by the weekend or the end of July 2012, I will be 30 pounds less than what I was April 18th, 2012. And yesterday I did my best time on my walk/jog. I did 3.09 miles in 44 minutes and 5 seconds!! From someone who wasn't even walking, let alone jogging, here I am today jogging/walking 3 miles in under 45 minutes.....happy dance!!
But with even this good news- I feel like there are still some things that steal my joy and focus. Its been hard working this summer. Last summer I was home with the girls and loved it. With Cornelius laid off from work, I sometimes get jealous or angry. Not angry at him because he's so wonderful with the girls and cooking meals, taking care of the garden and animals. I mean, he has a full time job at home. But I get angry- angry that I'm working when I'd rather be home. Angry that we have expenses that keep me working. If Cornelius gets a job, I still have to work- or do I? Could we live on one income? We still are getting Unemployment and we are making the bills, its tight but we're doing it. So then I think, "well, if he gets a job making what I make with his Unemployment, then I could stay home." But then I get angry at myself because it boils down to my comfort level and not wanting to give up my "cushy" lifestyle. I like THINGS....and liking THINGS, shopping and having an appearance of money, keeps me working. So is this the next lifestyle change I need to make? Do I need to work on my heart attitude regarding status and money and things? OUCH.....I really didn't want to write this or confess it .....cause I feel like I'm confessing it and need to be held accountable regarding this since I verbalized it. Right now its like the big white elephant in the room that I'm tiptoeing around. I need prayer. Prayer to know how and what God wants me to do and to be obedient and not afraid. Right now I'm working and need to be while Cornelius is laid off. And I'm going to just keep focused on being a good worker and let this sit awhile......but I need prayer about this.....and I NEED TO PRAY ABOUT THIS.
Ok, phew! Now on to life in general. We've had a very busy July. Sarah visited with her new baby and Lindi and grandma Bornman came along too. I thought to myself, "when are we going to have them stay with us for a week like this ever again?" It was special. I think by the end of the week though, everyone was tired and ready to go home.
The next day, July 10th, the girls went on the train with my mom to Chicago for a whole week. It was so special for them to have this time with grandma. And they had a blast and experienced a new world in the city. They brought back 2 cousins with them who stayed from July 17th-20th. When the left, we were all ready for us to have our home back to normal with just our girls and no guests. Those cousins sure experienced a new world in the country. The one girl had never made home-made cookies. So when Abby asked her to make cookies with her she just looked blankly at Abby. It was wonderful that Abby and Becca could show them how relaxed and fun it is to live in the country and not go shopping every day in a mall or store of some kind. They loved all the animals we had. I asked Becca if she liked the city or country better. She told me "I like the country better mom." :)
Soon I will post pictures from the month of July. We have taken some beautiful pictures. We've been blessed and have had a good summer so far. Looking forward to what August holds for us. We're doing our family vacation in August up north in Munising to see the Pictured Rocks. Can't wait!
Here is a verse to conclude my thoughts today:
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
John 14:27
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Saturday, June 30, 2012
JUNE 2012 Events
I haven't been able to blog like I wanted to for the month of June. Not because I didn't want to, but because we have been LIVING! Our family was very busy this month with many things and so I've decided to write them down so that I don't forget. (there are some things I did that aren't mentioned but these few stick out in mind)
1. Softball- the girls played softball on the same team this year. Very competitive but FUN. Their coaches, Brian Zinn and Chad Mortenson, made it a very memorable season and not only taught them tenique and skills for working as a team, but life skills as well. It was so fun to go and hear these men invest in these girls and see how they challenged them and each game, they grew and got better. Very proud of my girls and all they did on their softball team. Becca was on of the catchers and worked her butt off! And Abby did amazing in outfield by 3rd base. She even caught a pop up ball out in the field and it totally charged her up and lifted her spirits. We started out wondering if this was really a fit for Abby, and learned that she was up for the challenge.
2. Small group camping- our Small Group went camping at School Section Lake in Mecosta County June 22-24th. Abby took a friend with her and it made her time camping even more special. Jaelle did awesome camping and our whole family was able to really enjoy eachother and enjoy the time with friends in a new environment. Stephen, our pastor, preached Sunday morning and it was so wonderful to have the kids involved and engaged in the service. Chris Shebester and I lead worship together and there's just something about worshiping outside in God's creation.
3. I sang at a Women's Tea Event at First Baptist Church in Vestaburg- The same weekend of the camping trip I sang a few songs at this tea. It was fabulous event. The church did a wonderful job of making us feel so special, so spoiled and probably one of the neatest things was that we had tea and were served tea just as if it was "high tea". The food was scrumptious and beautiful. Each table was decorated by the hostess of that table. And every lady received some gift. What made this event special was that I was able to minister with Cheryl Engle, who is not only my friend but mentor. Cheryl did a tremendous job teaching and sharing from God's Word to these ladies and I know that she impacted women there.
4. Father's Day and Birthday party- June 16th we were at a birthday party for a young gal at our church, Ashleigh, who turned 14. First time with Jaelle at the pool with a bunch of people and she loved it. Then On Father's Day we went to my sister's new house and had a great time with her family and my dad. We swam in the pool and the kids played and played. We didn't leave until 10:30pm. It was a very busy weekend but again, summer is about enjoying the outdoors and making memories with family and friends.
5. First 5K for Cornelius- Today, June 30th, my husband ran his first 5K. I couldn't be prouder of him and his accomplishment. What was so awesome was that he took first place in his age group of 30-39 year olds. He ran it in 29 minutes and 17 seconds which wasn't even his best time. The girls were so impressed and impacted by their dad. It was very special to see him cross the finish line. This evening we went walking as a family for the first time. Ive been walking and jogging with Cornelius and the girls would ride their bikes. Often they would ride along with their dad when he started running. (Cornelius is much faster than me) Tonight after supper, we went and Abby totally surprised me. She ran longer and quicker. Becca kept in stride with me. She got tired but kept pushing herself. Abby did it in 45 minutes flat and Becca and I finished in 46 minutes and 36 seconds. We cheered them on and I noticed that I felt more excitement while doing it with them. It was so rewarding and so fulfilling to do it with my girls. Jaelle was content in her stroller and watched everyone working hard. I told the girls that Jaelle is going to grow up seeing us exercising and she will naturally want to exercise too.
AND I continue to work at being a good steward of my body with how I eat and exercise. I face challenges and temptations, but it keeps getting easier day by day. Sometimes I worry if I don't exercise as often as I think I should or if I eat something sweet or fatty, but then I tell myself that it's not about being legalistic and a drill sargent, but about making intentional choices to surrender my addiction and unhealthy lifestyle to God and find that He's there to encourage me and give me strength and wisdom. At the close of this month, I can say that I have lost a total of 25 pounds since I started this journey April 19th, 2012. YEAH!!!
Here are a few pictures from JUNE 2012
Abby getting ready to hit- Go slugger! She really improved on her hitting.
Becca the catcher
Are they having fun or what?
GO TEAM!!!
We watched our Pastor's kids one night and had fun with them.
Watermelon lovin' Jaelle on our camping trip
We had friends for dinner and this was the pretty table I set on our back porch
This was a picture I took of me and the girls before our movie date night.
Abby and her friend Hannah Palmer playing with Jaelle on our camp trip.
Jaelle loved all the candy at Ashleigh's birthday Party.
Becca and her friend Emilee at our camping trip with our Small Group
Chef Cornelius cooking for our friends that came for dinner.
Cornelius and his proud family after his first 5K
The girls were so proud of their daddy!
Look at him RUN!!
Jaelle and mommy in the sun and being silly.
Aren't we a cute pair? This is at Gina's new house at the lake
Jaelle loved going to the girl's softball games and find stuff to play with
Jaelle is just a sweetie pie and I love her little eyes in this picture.
And a picture of me and my nose......I used to not like my stubby nose.
And I took this picture on the way to work one morning- God's reminder that He is faithful and keeps his promises.
1. Softball- the girls played softball on the same team this year. Very competitive but FUN. Their coaches, Brian Zinn and Chad Mortenson, made it a very memorable season and not only taught them tenique and skills for working as a team, but life skills as well. It was so fun to go and hear these men invest in these girls and see how they challenged them and each game, they grew and got better. Very proud of my girls and all they did on their softball team. Becca was on of the catchers and worked her butt off! And Abby did amazing in outfield by 3rd base. She even caught a pop up ball out in the field and it totally charged her up and lifted her spirits. We started out wondering if this was really a fit for Abby, and learned that she was up for the challenge.
2. Small group camping- our Small Group went camping at School Section Lake in Mecosta County June 22-24th. Abby took a friend with her and it made her time camping even more special. Jaelle did awesome camping and our whole family was able to really enjoy eachother and enjoy the time with friends in a new environment. Stephen, our pastor, preached Sunday morning and it was so wonderful to have the kids involved and engaged in the service. Chris Shebester and I lead worship together and there's just something about worshiping outside in God's creation.
3. I sang at a Women's Tea Event at First Baptist Church in Vestaburg- The same weekend of the camping trip I sang a few songs at this tea. It was fabulous event. The church did a wonderful job of making us feel so special, so spoiled and probably one of the neatest things was that we had tea and were served tea just as if it was "high tea". The food was scrumptious and beautiful. Each table was decorated by the hostess of that table. And every lady received some gift. What made this event special was that I was able to minister with Cheryl Engle, who is not only my friend but mentor. Cheryl did a tremendous job teaching and sharing from God's Word to these ladies and I know that she impacted women there.
4. Father's Day and Birthday party- June 16th we were at a birthday party for a young gal at our church, Ashleigh, who turned 14. First time with Jaelle at the pool with a bunch of people and she loved it. Then On Father's Day we went to my sister's new house and had a great time with her family and my dad. We swam in the pool and the kids played and played. We didn't leave until 10:30pm. It was a very busy weekend but again, summer is about enjoying the outdoors and making memories with family and friends.
5. First 5K for Cornelius- Today, June 30th, my husband ran his first 5K. I couldn't be prouder of him and his accomplishment. What was so awesome was that he took first place in his age group of 30-39 year olds. He ran it in 29 minutes and 17 seconds which wasn't even his best time. The girls were so impressed and impacted by their dad. It was very special to see him cross the finish line. This evening we went walking as a family for the first time. Ive been walking and jogging with Cornelius and the girls would ride their bikes. Often they would ride along with their dad when he started running. (Cornelius is much faster than me) Tonight after supper, we went and Abby totally surprised me. She ran longer and quicker. Becca kept in stride with me. She got tired but kept pushing herself. Abby did it in 45 minutes flat and Becca and I finished in 46 minutes and 36 seconds. We cheered them on and I noticed that I felt more excitement while doing it with them. It was so rewarding and so fulfilling to do it with my girls. Jaelle was content in her stroller and watched everyone working hard. I told the girls that Jaelle is going to grow up seeing us exercising and she will naturally want to exercise too.
AND I continue to work at being a good steward of my body with how I eat and exercise. I face challenges and temptations, but it keeps getting easier day by day. Sometimes I worry if I don't exercise as often as I think I should or if I eat something sweet or fatty, but then I tell myself that it's not about being legalistic and a drill sargent, but about making intentional choices to surrender my addiction and unhealthy lifestyle to God and find that He's there to encourage me and give me strength and wisdom. At the close of this month, I can say that I have lost a total of 25 pounds since I started this journey April 19th, 2012. YEAH!!!
Here are a few pictures from JUNE 2012
Yep, we got goats and we even milk them too. Becca's just too cute with her hat!
Friday, June 29, 2012
Happy Birthday dear Jaelle!
Can you believe that it's been one year since I had my beautiful Jaelle Veronica Bornman? June 1st, 2011 Jaelle Veronica Bornman was born at Gratiot Medical Center in Alma, Michigan.
It was so wonderful last summer being home with all 3 girls, enjoying my new baby and being a stay at home mom. When it was time to go back to work in September, I just didn't know if I could do it. I cried and I remember Cornelius pushing me out the door telling me that all would be fine. And it was....but I cried the first 2 days on my drive to work.
Here are some highlights of the pregnancy and after she was born:
1. Mid March 2011 I started feeling not so good. I had a cold but also noticed palpatations and had to lay down in my cubicle to catch my breath or rest.
2. By the end of March I was so sick and requesting 1 or 2 days off work a week. I was in and out of ER for palpatations and then put on a heart monitor.
3. April 5, 2011 I was put off work. We found out my sugar was out of control, I was having heart issues and had a kidney infection and sinus infection. I was a mess and emotionally and physically exhausted. Doctor Maslovich didn't bat an eye and just wrote for me to be put off work.
4. I spent the next couple months getting ready to have baby Jaelle. I rested alot and got my strength back. For awhile I was too weak to even drive and took naps most the day because of my heart giving me fits.
5. June 1st was our scheduled c-section date. I was so excited to have this baby but terrified of the recovery time after the c-section. When I went to the hospital that day, Doctor Maslovich could tell something was up. He asked me how I was feeling about this c-section. I told him honestly that I was so stressed about the recovery time and that I would be spending most of my time healing and not enjoying the baby. So 20 minutes before surgery we decided together to give me a normal bikini cut instead of the up and down cut that I had for Abby and Becca.
6. Jaelle was born, big, healthy and strong an hour after that conversation with doctor Maslovich weighing a whopping 10 pounds 15 ounces. They let me hold her by my face while they sewed me up. I exclaimed to Cornelius and everyone in the room "I want another one!" Doctor Maslovich said "Well, we will make sure to sew you up good so that you can have another one if you want." :)
HERE ARE A FEW NEWBORN PICTURES
This was June 2nd-only 24 days old and Jaelle is so bright eyed!
This was the day we went home on June 3rd. She was so sweet and content.
HERE ARE BIRTHDAY PARTY PICTURES- taken by Ashlee Elliott (an old piano student of mine who was home from college)
Jaelle ate every bit of her cupcake- not one drop was left!!
Becca made these beautiful cupcakes for the party.
Don't clean me!! I like being sticky with frosting so I can lick it later!
Damaris Mowat having fun at the party with our bunny.
YUMMY CUPCAKE!
Is this all for me?!
Titus Mowat having fun at the party in Jaelle's room
Our beautiful rose fence- the roses weren't in bloom yet but I love this fence!
Baby Jaelle's hands....so cute.
We got Jaelle this kiddy pool and put her new toys into it. She loved it. :)
Big sister is so much help and loves you so much.
Auntie Gina gave me this toy and I love chewing on it. ;)
Opening presents!
Pastor Stephen Mowat and his sweety, Damaris.
Jaelle, you really are a sweet doll and we love you!
These are her first professional pictures taken of her when she was 3 weeks old by Summer Photography.
And here is our beautiful Jaelle 1 year old just taken by Molly Bea Photography June 21, 2012. Jaelle you have added so much to our family. You are a spark of energy, love and silliness that makes our family pefect and complete.
It was so wonderful last summer being home with all 3 girls, enjoying my new baby and being a stay at home mom. When it was time to go back to work in September, I just didn't know if I could do it. I cried and I remember Cornelius pushing me out the door telling me that all would be fine. And it was....but I cried the first 2 days on my drive to work.
Here are some highlights of the pregnancy and after she was born:
1. Mid March 2011 I started feeling not so good. I had a cold but also noticed palpatations and had to lay down in my cubicle to catch my breath or rest.
2. By the end of March I was so sick and requesting 1 or 2 days off work a week. I was in and out of ER for palpatations and then put on a heart monitor.
3. April 5, 2011 I was put off work. We found out my sugar was out of control, I was having heart issues and had a kidney infection and sinus infection. I was a mess and emotionally and physically exhausted. Doctor Maslovich didn't bat an eye and just wrote for me to be put off work.
4. I spent the next couple months getting ready to have baby Jaelle. I rested alot and got my strength back. For awhile I was too weak to even drive and took naps most the day because of my heart giving me fits.
5. June 1st was our scheduled c-section date. I was so excited to have this baby but terrified of the recovery time after the c-section. When I went to the hospital that day, Doctor Maslovich could tell something was up. He asked me how I was feeling about this c-section. I told him honestly that I was so stressed about the recovery time and that I would be spending most of my time healing and not enjoying the baby. So 20 minutes before surgery we decided together to give me a normal bikini cut instead of the up and down cut that I had for Abby and Becca.
6. Jaelle was born, big, healthy and strong an hour after that conversation with doctor Maslovich weighing a whopping 10 pounds 15 ounces. They let me hold her by my face while they sewed me up. I exclaimed to Cornelius and everyone in the room "I want another one!" Doctor Maslovich said "Well, we will make sure to sew you up good so that you can have another one if you want." :)
HERE ARE A FEW NEWBORN PICTURES
OUR FIRST FAMILY PICTURE with Jaelle
And Jaelle sucking her finger shortly after she was born. We have an ultrasound pic of her sucking her thumb. She still sucks her thumb now
WE LOVE YOU!
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