ALL or NOTHING

Revelation 3:15-16
¹⁵ ‘I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot. ¹⁶ So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will ^[b]spit you out of My mouth.

This last week Cornelius and I watched several movies that really impacted me.  Last week I watched "The Way Back".  True story about men who walked out of their Siberian prison to freedom 4,000 miles away to India. Some died along the way because of the severity and harshness of nature and also because of the distance.  One man in particular was imprisoned only because of his stance against Communism and the cold war waging on his country Hungary. I was amazed at their will and perserverance.  Their fight to live a FULL life and not just survive in their prison in Siberia.  Most people would have given up emotionally and mentally and then let themselves die.  The things that they went through physically was mind boggling.
Then on Saturday January 25th Cornelius took me to see "Lone Survivor" in the Theatre.  Again, true story about these 4 Navy Seals in Afganistan. They had a mission to take out a Taliban leader but their mission was compromised when they were discovered by goat herders.  Do they kill the goat herders and continue with their mission or let these civilians go, pretty much leading them to certain face to face combat by the Taliban.  They chose to abort their mission because it was compromised, let the goat herders go and get out of there.  Only, they didn't all make it out.  Only one survived and it was a miraculous survival.

What moved me in the movie "Lone Survivor" though was the willingness to lay down their lives for eachother, for their mission and cause.  Don't get me wrong- WAR is UGLY.  I am not glorifying or idolizing the killing of people and how ugly and painful battle is.  BUT, there is something that amazes me with these Navy Seals.  AT ALL COST- ITS ALL OR NOTHING.  They live by a creed. They have been trained to fight and survive in conditions that most cannot or will not. They physically do things that amaze me and is truly mind boggling.  Their mind over matter was incredible.

Why am I so fascinated with this and how does this affect me?  On Monday morning when I weighed in, and I gained weight.  I was so traumatized. Upset, Discouraged.  How could I have gained weight when I've been working out like 6 times a week, counting calories, fat and keep track of proteins?  I've put so much effort into this. Ive been committed, dedicated, faithful even to the point of putting aside my feelings of tiredness and even fighting physical pain with sore muscles and needing chiropractic appointments. 

I could just give up and throw in the towel.  I thought about people who do this. I thought about how the church is so full of people who just give a little bit of themselves, enough to say they did enough but then when the going gets tough, or when it comes down to the wire, they aren't there. They aren't faithful.  The church has failed in this area- the Bible calls us to give our all.  To love God with all our heart and soul and mind.  We think going to church on Sunday and reading our Bible a few times a week or maybe when we do "good things" that we're good.  GOD WANTS IT ALL! Our lives are a testimony of Him living in me.  Do I really love Him? Am I willing at all costs to follow Him and go where He calls me and do what He asks of me?

The church is full of luke wamness. Full of people who do not live by their creed.  People who give up when the going gets tough.  Seeing how thoseNavy Seals would did not give up until physically their bodies stopped due to the severity of their wounds made me wonder-Would I be that resilient? Would I fight so hard for a cause?  DO I GIVE ALL? 

So I told myself that God is showing me that in all this journey with my health, it's all or nothing. Am I really going to live a healthy life style whether I see the pounds move. Am I willing to keep eating whole and clean or am I just doing this for a challenge to win money? What's my driving factor? What's my motive?

It's ALL or Nothing.  Either I'm going to keep at this no matter what I face. No matter how hard the challenge gets.  And God is calling me to this. Preparing me for greatness. Preparing me to know how to fight.  To be an overcomer.  Not to give up. To keep looking up to Him and find the will to perservere.

DON'T GIVE UP.  Give it your all. Don't be afraid.  Don't be like a lukewarm person- neither hot nor cold.  BE ON FIRE!  BE HOT!  That's what I want. For people to say "Wow, she gave it her all.  Cherri didn't hold anything back.  She dove in and fought with her whole being. She lived for God in all areas of her life!"

That's what I want.  And I know I need Jesus more than ever. To keep my heart in check when I let my emotions get the better of me.  Sometimes our feelings lead us astray.  Be aware of this and guard your heart and emotions. Let God guide you to truth. Let God fill you today with the will to give it all. 

That's my prayer today for me and for you!

Dear Lord,  I thank you that you love me so much that you don't want to leave me alone- you keep pursuing me and challenging me to be all that I can be. You are creating me into a beautiful masterpiece. You are molding me and sometimes the refining can be so hard. Sometimes what I see in the mirror I don't like. I want to quit or I want to be depressed and discouraged. I feel like having a pity party or like its just too hard.  God, let me be faithful to complete this journey I'm in with all that is within me.  Every area of my life you want to invade with Your presence, Your power and its all to see me succeed to give YOU the Glory!  I love the verse in Hebrews that talks about running the race marked out for us.  Let me not grow weary. I love you Lord. I pray this all in the precious name of Jesus, Amen!

Hebrews12

 Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, ^2 [a]fixing our eyes on Jesus, the ^[b]author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

³ For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary ^[c]and lose heart.

DON'T GIVE UP! KEEP IT UP! KEEP MOVING FORWARD!

All wise words from my 3 sweet girls.  This was hanging in my kitchen waiting for me when I got home last night after working out.  They are my gems and their love and support fuels my heart to keep going. :)

A New Face

I've been thinking how my life has changed recently.  Maybe not changed but taken on a "NEW FACE".  I'm not sure how to put it into words. I'm always thinking about life- yeah, I'm one of those deep thinkers.  Always thinking about the meaning of life, what direction I'm taking and if what I'm doing is making an impact. 
Anyways, this morning I was thinking how I never imagined that my health and fitness would be used to glorify God or to help people.  Since I was young God always used music in my life to speak to people. To bless people.  And He still does use music.  I'm one of the worship leaders at Crystal Lake Community Church and also the Worship Director there.  I do numerous Women Events every year speaking and using music and worship. 

I think what I'm getting at is I'm in a NEW melody or song.  Some would say "new season" of life.  But I guess I think through the terms of music because of my musical and singing background and passion.  I feel most comfortable when Im playing piano and leading from that place.  But now I'm in a new arena- HEALTH and FITNESS. And its all new, its all scary and I feel very vunerable.  I'm no expert here.  Just a normal person trying to get healthy and let God use my body for His glory- literally.  My Body/HIS Temple.

I looked up "New Song" this morning on google....and it brought up a devotional talking about the verse that talks about singing a New Song.  What does that mean exactly?  I found after reading this verse and the comments they made very simple and very real to me.

SINGING A NEW SONG AND WHAT IT MEANS TO ME:
1. He is making me New and I should declare this to all people- declaring his marvelous work in me.
2. Becoming renewed, or full of renewed vigor and letting others know of His work in my life.
3. I like the interpretation that a new song might be an old song, sung with a inward freshness of spirit, that proclaims what God is doing in my/your life.

Are you in the middle of a New Song?  Where God is renewing you or has done a work in your life? Have you "sung" His praises? Meaning, have you declared to others the good that He is doing? 

God is just so amazing and so big and sometimes I am just in awe of really how God cares about every detail of my life.  It gives me peace and security to know that I'm in His hands and that He is walking this walk with me.  Encouraging me.  Pushing me to go farther and deeper.  Challenging me to see what great things I can do. 

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."

Psalm 96:1-5

1 Oh sing to the LORD a new song;
sing to the LORD, all the earth!
2Sing to the LORD, bless his name;
 tell of his salvation from day to day.
3Declare his glory among the nations,
his marvelous works among all the peoples!
4For great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised;
he is to be feared above all gods.
5For all the gods of the peoples are worthless idols,
but the LORD made the heavens.
6Splendor and majesty are before him;
strength and beauty are in his sanctuary.

I'm Back!! NO MORE EXCUSES

How I have missed you!  I have missed blogging so much but just didn't and I'm not sure how or why. My excuses are only that I've been busy living life. But so much of my processing feelings and thoughts are through blogging. It's just like journaling except I let a few others join in on my journal reading- that is crazy dangerous and insane if you think about it!

I was thinking this morning about excuses. How easy it is to make excuses and be ok with it.  For example, I so remember the time in my life when I didn't have time to exercise. I remember thinking that people who exercised were too crazy into their health, or they had more time than me. Or that if they exercised it was because they enjoyed it so much and that they were meant to be exercising.
EXCUSES.  definition: attempt to lessen the blame attaching to (a fault or offense); seek to defend or justify.

Seriously, I used to make excuses that I was too big to exercise. I might hurt myself. Or I wasn't made to exercise. Some people are just built to exercise. Or I was too busy.  Or .......the list can go on and on. Can you relate?

We make excuses for ourselves to justify why we aren't doing something because honestly, excuses make us "feel" better. But are excuses truly good for us?  Personally I remember so much when I made excuses about my weight, health and exercise.  That whole area. And now look at me?  Look where I'm at?  Still exercising, still losing weight.  Still losing inches.  Little by little. Goal by goal.  Learning so many new things that have transformed my life for the good!  All because I tackled an excuse in my life.  I made that excuse no longer acceptable.

Change and new beginnings often come when we stop making excuses.  What excuse are you allowing to control or dictate your life?
Really, when it comes down to it, if something is really important to you, you will stop making excuses and make it happen.  Plain and simple.
The only reason I can say that is because I had all the intentions of being "intentional" and on target with my Bible reading this New Year. I had a daily Bible Reading plan and was going and then I'd fall asleep before I got it in. Or I thought to myself, "I can squeeze it in later." I made exercise a daily part of my life. I made a lifestyle change in my eating. I didn't except my excuses anymore.  And now I need to apply this principle to my Bible reading. No more excuses. Because if I really value something, I will not make excuses and figure out how to make it happen.

So, I'M BACK!  Back to blogging.  No more excuses. Make it happen.  Figure out how to fit it into your life. If you want to make more time to play with your kids, then do it. It takes commitment. It takes being intentional.  It might even take someone holding you accountable to make this new thing happen in your life.  But until you stop justifying why you're not doing what you want to do, then I don't want to hear about it!!

Ok, that is my pep talk for today.  I had to start somewhere because there was no way I could go back and recap all the AWESOME things that happened since October.  Go to my facebook or instagram account to see my daily pics and postings to catch up on those months.  All I can say is this: God has been so good to me.  He keeps working on me, to make me into a beautiful masterpiece for Him.  And I am loving this journey and his handiwork.

"No wonder we are happy in the Lord! For we are trusting him. We trust his holy name. Yes, Lord, let your constant love surround us, for our hopes are in you alone." Psalm 33:21-22 TLB

New Goals: Getting Sweaty!

I remember when my goal was to be able to run a mile without stopping. It almost seemed impossible.  Actually, I didn't think about this goal until this morning when I completed 1.99 miles in 23 minutes and 47 secounds.  I finished those almost 2 miles and then did 20 minutes of boxing.  I sweat more than I ever have in my life.  My hair was wet, my socks and shoes were wet. My glasses stayed steamed up during the whole workout because my body was so steamy hot- it was A-W-E-S-O-M-E.....

Who knew this girly girl liked getting so sweaty?!  :)

GOALS

Point being that I'm on a new season with new health/fitness goals:
1. Run 2 miles (without stopping) -my ultimate dream is to run a 30 minute 5K.  I'm getting close!! 
2. Boxing- I want to learn more about boxing.  The girls I work-out with go to a gym in Alma, MI and do boxing there with an instructor. I would love to go with them but most nights/times it falls on a day that doesn't work for me.  So I'm learning what I can from them.  Its a different kind of thrill that I get from boxing. Makes you feel strong and tough at the same time. And the cardio from it is KILLER
3. I want to do more with weights- I was weightlifting with Julia this past summer and it amazed me what my body could do.  It made me want to see how strong I was and if I could do a strong "woman" competition. I don't want to get big-just STRONGER. :)

DREAMS
I continue to dream not only in my health but with my work/job.  A few weeks ago I mentioned about our Department needing to cut jobs in our office- 3 to be exact.  In the history of the State, it is RARE if never, that they cut positions. They shift people around or come up with the funds to make sure no position cuts are necessary.  The ideas our office presented with volunatry lay offs and some others were all tabled.  The only idea that was "not" shut down, was the idea of a job share position. Meaning- 2 ladies, working part-time on one caseload. One worker carrying the insurance and the other not having Insurance.  They said that this idea was not out of the question and that they would relook at it and all the "what ifs".  Its a long shot.  But my ultimate dream would be to work part time with the state and focus on my music.  I'd either like to go back to school, open up a music studio or just work part-time and be even more involved with the music and leadership at my church.  Really, I can't pin point it except to say, I want my dreams to line-up with my giftings and what God has for me to do with them.  I can have all these dreams and wishes, but it ultimately needs to be in His plan for my life. And I know God wants good things for me and wants me to have the desires of my heart.....

I think the whole dreams comes to mind because I just finished one amazing weekend at Grace Adventures.  The worship times were intense. God spoke to me on several occasions with words for the women during the worship.  And my workshop on "Life Changing Worship" taught me something about myself: my strength is in speaking through worship and music. I don't necessarily like teaching for a whole lesson. I would have preferred to teach from the piano instead of standing and speaking....I almost feel naked without the piano.

I am amazed how I keep growing and learning more about myself, my heart, my dreams, my gifitings....I actually love being in this phase of life where everything is a learning and growing phase. Makes me feel fresh and new- like a seed that has broken the ground and is breaking forth with new green leaves and stems, just starting to show its buds and waiting to see what blossoms.

Romans 8:26-28 MSG
"God's spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless signs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves....and keeps us present before God. That's why we can bo so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good."

P.S.  Yesterday I had two amazing God appointments with people at work- meaning, God used me in their lives and it was amazing. I was just being me, sharing my heart, being real, listening to what they were saying and somehow it translated into those people thanking me.  One person actually told me that I was the only person in her life and in her line of work that ever talked to her about spiritual things, and it was good.  I am thankful to be apart of God's plan in showing God's love in a tangible way while I'm on this earth-JUST A REMINDER THAT GOD CAN USE ME WHERE EVER I AM even if I'm not doing my dream job.

****
Ok here are 3 pics from my trip to Mears, MI September 20-22nd for my friend's wedding. I love my girls so much.  So much of what I do in my life is for them and I pray that they see that and know that they are the jewels of my life.

 

Mirror Mirror On the Wall

You know how some mornings you wake up just feeling all yucky or like "blah".  This morning I was startled by my alarm clock and almost hit snooze when I was jolted by the thought -"I have to meet Ashley to work out!"  So I quickly get out bed, scramble to the bathroom and look at myself and take a warm washcloth to my gunky sleepy eyes. Throw on some workout clothes, bundling up cause its like 45 degrees out- yeah, I'm crazy but when you have people you're meeting to work out with, well, it sorta keeps you accountable and doesn't let you bail ship and I LOVE IT. 
After my almost 2 mile jog huffing and puffing to the finish, we head to the weight room for about 20-25 minutes.  It was good. Got a good 50 minute workout in and head home feeling accomplished, proud and good that I did my body good.
When I get home and look at myself in the mirror after putting makeup on and fixing my hair I still feel "blah".....why do I look like I gained like 10 pounds?And seriously, this mirror isn't returning me any favors. I see all the things that clothes and makeup try to hide.

The mirror only tells us so much about myself. And we know this but yet we spend so much time, worry and effort on how we look in the mirror to ourselves and others. I know this oh so personally.  And I was convicted of my vain heart this morning.  What if I spent as much time in front of the mirror reading God's Word?
"You're my place of quiet retreat; I wait for your Word to renew me....therefore I lovingly embrace everthing you say." Psalm 119:114, 119 MSG

"Rather it should be that of your INNER self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." or the Message says it like this....
"Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious k ind that God delights in."
I Peter 3:4

All this I know! God looks at a man's heart and not on the outward appearance as man does.  And then I remembered this verse about a mirror found in James 1:22-24

"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what is says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away quickly and immediately forgets what he looks like."
James 1:22-24

Man, that was a like a nice slap in the face this morning. Who am I kidding?  Maybe you or those around me, but NOT God.  I look and look at myself in the mirror and worry more about my exterior and honestly, I am just neglecting and forgetting what God's word says about me.

"I am created in His image...."
"I am His masterpiece...."
"For God so loved ME..."
"Thy Word have I hid in my heart, that I might not sin against thee..."

So mirror on the wall, I may not be the fairest in the land, but I am seriously the most precious gem in God's eye and He has His heart set on me!   When God looks at me, He sees a warrior and mighty woman!

And probably why we shouldn't go by the mirror and what it shows us is because MOST WOMEN don't have a clear/right perception of themselves- it's always tainted with our own views of ourselves and not how God or others see you.  And I say that because when I looked in the mirror today I felt totally fat and blah but honestly I've lost enough inches and have gone down a pant size now. :)  I just shared that with my workout buddies this morning. So what I thought that mirror was showing/telling me this morning was all a lie.  

Let's look at the mirror of God's Word this morning and look into the eyes of our loving heavenly Father to see the mirror of who we are in His eyes.

Sending love and hugs to all my friends and family in the blogging world. :)
HAPPY MONDAY because its a beautiful day that God has made!

Let Go and Grab Onto God

Let go of what we expect and grab onto the One who knows what's to come.

- from a mom with a terminally ill child

"Let the morning bring word of your unfailing love, for I have put my tust in you. Show me the way to go, for to you I lift up my soul." Psalm 143:8

Worship Conference and Dreams

I had the privilage and honor to attend an amazing Worship Conference with a leading artist in the Christian Music Arena, Paul Baloche.  I have liked his music for many years but have really appreciated it even more so as the worship leader at Crystal Lake Community.  He has written and co-written many songs but one of his most popular songs is "Open the Eyes of My Heart".  A group of 8 of us traveled to Cedarsville, Ohio September 13th to spend Friday and Saturday in a worship workshop/conference. It probably was one of the best ones I've been too- so practical, applicable and Spirit filled.  Paul Baloche is such an example of true humility and has the heart for what real worship is- authentic, real, connecting people to God's heart and presence.  I know that the 8 individuals who came LOVED it just as much as me. Gary Nielson and Jim Beach took in the Audio training.  Rita H., Abby C, Jason J and Gina took in the vocal classes. My fellow pianist friend, Val J, took in the keyboard classes. I enjoyed the "Worship Journey" and "Song Writing" classes.  I'm trying to think what was my most favorite class- probably the general sessions with the worship. 

A couple things stick out for me for this worship conference that I don't want to forget.  Before the conference at work on Thursday the 12th, we were told that it was a possibility that 3 positions would be cut from our office from my department.  The Director met with us regarding ideas or suggestions of how we can accomodate everyone and not "force" anyone out.  One of the things brought up was 2 partime workers sharing a caseload with only 1 person receiving the health insurance.  The director asked who would be interested in something like that and right away my friend Trina and I said that we would.  I don't need the insurance since Cornelius carries it through this work.  Trina would need it.  And it would mean that we both would work part time which means more time at home or focusing on other things.  Personally, I have dreamed and wished that this kind of position would open up in our office.  So the fact that it was actually brought up and would be presented to some head people in Lansing as a way to save money and also free up a position in our office, well, it made me all excited and afraid at the same time.

The next day before the conference started around 4pm, Paul Baloche mentioned and brought up about "dreams" and "visions" and encouraged us to dream this weekend. Gary looked at the team and whispered to us "don't forget to dream".  I felt like that was for me.

So the whole weekend was powerful and there are too many details to cover. But I want to remember that "GOD ISN'T FINISHED WITH ME AND MY DREAMS". I've been thinking and dreaming if I were to be able to pursue my music or go to college- and to be honest, I don't know if I really know what I would do if I wasn't working full time. Would I want to go to college? What should I study?  Do I want to open up my studio again and teach? Or would I want to pursue making a music CD? Do I want to do more speaking or leading worship at events?

So many things to think or dream about.....but I can't really dream until I know if my position could possibly be cut to part-time.

Pastor Stephen preached on God's Will for our lives.  And truly I want God's will and not my own will or wishes. Ultimately, its about my journey in this life bringing Him glory, and if working partime so that I could pursue "my dreams" brings Him glory, THEN BRING IT ON GOD!! OPEN THE FLOODGATES OF HEAVEN!  Let it rain!  Lead me to uncharted roads that stretch and grow me.